Man, Dorothy and others in “Three On a Couch”

[in a flashback scene, responding to a personal ad of Dorothy's that Rose put in the newspaper] Dorothy?

Have we met?

Not yet. I'm here because of your ad in the paper, "Willing to do anything - $8 an hour, no job too big or small."

Yes, yes, of course, please come in. I'm sorry, I didn't expect people to actually come here, I just figured, you know, that I would be going to them.

That's the way it'll work in the future, when my video camera gets back from the shop.

So tell me, what kind of work is it that you need done, Mr.---

Toto.

---Mr. Toto?

Oh, no "Mr.," just "Toto." You're Dorothy, and I'm Toto. At least for the next eight dollars.

Dorothy, you owe me an apology; your ad's right here. [points to newspaper]

Oh Rose, this is the Personals column!

So what?

So what? You put an ad in the personals column that said I will do anything for eight dollars an hour?! Right under an ad that reads, "History professor seeking non-smoking Oriental woman who is into Wesson Oil and bears a resemblance to Florence Henderson."

Is that signed "Doug"?

Yes.

I know him; he's a sick man.

[showing her visitor to the door] I'm terribly sorry for this mixup; goodbye.

Oh my GOD, I don't believe this! I'm going to call the cops if you don't get out of here right away, you PERVERT!

[walks up carrying a large box and hands it to the bewildered-looking priest] Hi, Father Rossi! Here's the canned goods for the needy!

[mortified] Oh, no... [to Father Rossi] I'm terribly sorry. I promise that I will say Hail Marys until Madonna has a hit movie.

[to Rose] Hi! Here's my eight dollars! Let's get started, Dorothy!

Oh, I'm not Dorothy; she is.

[to Dorothy] I'll give you four dollars. Let's get started.

How would you like your rear end kicked across the street?!!

Oh, great! Here's the other four dollars!

Girls! Girls! There's a busload of Greek sailors out front! They want to know how many drachma there are in eight dollars!