Let me get this straight: your, uh, ultimate hero was not only a short man in diapers, but he was also a fruitarian.
That's not the point.
That is good. That is-even for you, that is good.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
How long am I gonna be double-secret probation?
Until I say so.
Look. I know what I did. What I've done. And I am trying to climb out of that hole, I am, but you're not making it any easier.
What am I supposed to do, just let you off the hook?
No. You can think whatever you want. I deserve it, and worse. Hell, you'll never punish me as much as I'm punishing myself, but the point is, if we're gonna be a team, you and I—it has to be a two-way street.
Dean, one of the reasons I went off with Ruby... was to get away from you.
What?
It made me feel strong, like I wasn't your kid brother.
Are you saying this is my fault?
No, it's my fault. All I'm saying is that if we're going to do this, we have to do it different. We can't just fall into the same rut.
What do you want me to do?
You're gonna have to let me grow up, for starters.
Maybe that's the connection. The Tooth Fairy, the Pop Rocks and Coke, the joy buzzer that shocks you, they're all lies that kids believe.
And now they're coming true. Okay, so whatever's doing this is—is reshaping reality. It has the powers of a god. Or of a trickster.
Yeah, with the sense of humor of a nine-year-old.
Or you.
I don't get it, Jesse is the devil's son?
[sighs and lets loose an eye roll] No, of course not; your Bible gets more wrong than it does right.
[steps between Sam and Castiel] Okay, hey, look, we are not going to kill him. Alright? But we can't leave Jesse here, either. We know that. So... we take him to Bobby's, he'll know what to do.
You'll kidnap him? What is going on in this town, it's what happens when this thing is happy; you cannot imagine what it will do if it's angry.
You've got choices, Jesse. But if you make the wrong ones, it'll haunt you for the rest of your life.
JJesse
Why are you telling me this?!
Because I have to believe someone can make the right choice, even if I couldn't.
You think Jesse's gonna be OK?
I hope so.
You know we destroyed that kid's life by telling him the truth.
We didn't have a choice, Dean.
Yeah. You know I'm starting to get why parents lie to their kids. You want them to believe that the worst thing out there is to mixing poprocks and coke. Protect them from the real evil. You want them going to bed feeling safe. If that means lying to them, so be it. More I think about it... more I wish dad had lied to us.
Yeah, me too.
So you were just gonna shoot some old guy, is that it?
I didn't know what you were. I mean have you seen you? You look like-
The old chick in Titanic. I know, shut up.
I was gonna say Emperor Palpatine.
[Bobby enters the room on his wheelchair, looking like his normal self]
I see you met John McCain there.
Yeah... either of you wanna tell me what happened?
Bobby's an idiot, that's what.
Hey, nobody asked you to play.
You're right, I should've just let you die.
And for damn sure, nobody asked you to lose!
[amused] It's like Grumpy Old Men.
DBDean and Bobby
SHUT UP, SAM.
Sammy, when you get to be our age...
You're 30, Dean!
What exactly am I living for, huh? The damn apocalypse?! Watching men die bloody while I sit in this chair, can't take a step to help 'em.
Bobby...
No, no, It's the facts. I'm old, and I'm broke down, and I... I ain't a hunter no more. I'm useless. And if I wasn't such a coward I'd have stuck a gun in my mouth the day I got home from the hospital.
PPatrick
I'm sorry kid. Aces full.
[to Lia] You're crying. For a witch, you're so nice it's actually kinda creepy. It's okay. [to Patrick] It was a great hand. Just... not as great as... [Sam lays his hand down, revealing two fours, matching the two fours in the table hand] as four fours.
PPatrick
Well played. You know, that whole... 'going out of your head' bit, very method. There's more to you than meets the eye. [raises his glass]
Cash these in for Dean. Please.
PPatrick
With pleasure.
You're not useless, Bobby.
Okay... good talk.
Whoa, wait a moment, listen to me. You don't stop being a soldier 'cause you got wounded in battle. Okay? No matter what shape you're in, bottom line is: you're family. Now I don't know if you've noticed but me and Sam, we don't have much left. I can't do this without you. I can't. So don't you dare think about checking out! I don't wanna hear that again!
Okay.
Okay. Good.
Thanks... now we done feeling our feelings? Cause I'd like to get out of this room before we both start growing lady parts.
Yeah, we're done.
[The episode opens in the form of a sitcom]
[Narrating] Supernatural is filmed before a live studio audience.
[Closes his fridge and looks at a cartoonishly big sandwich] I'm gonna need a bigger mouth.
AAudience
[Laughs, then cheers as Sam walks through the door]
Hey there Sam. What's happening?
Oh nothing, um, just the end of the world. [Audience laughs. Sam looks at the sandwich] You're gonna need a bigger mouth. Hey, uh, have you done your research yet?
Oh yeah, All kinds of research. All night.
Yeah?
AAudience
[lets loose wolf whistles and catcalls as a bikini clad woman exits the bathroom]
WWoman
Oh, Dean. We have some more "research" to do.[More laughter]
[thoroughly exasperated] Dean...
[Extreme close-up] Son of a bitch! [More laughter and cheers]
[A cheesy opening credits sequence ensues, complete with Sam and Dean riding on a tandem bicycle and mopeds , playing pass football in a park, and hunting ghosts in a very comic fashion]
Calm down?! I am wearing sunglasses at night! You know who does that? No-talent douchebags. I hate this game. I hate that we're in a procedural cop show. And you want to know why? Because I hate procedural cop shows. There's like 300 on television, they're all the freaking same, it's: "oh... a plane crashed here." Oh shut up!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Supernatural pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.