Gordon, Martin and others in “Unfinished Business”

I had lunch with Nigel. Sadly, very disappointing.

In which way?

I just found it old fashioned, very boring and when you say "modern British", where was the beef from?

Where's the beef from? It's not British.

The steak was cooked nicely. Pink, it didn't need all the gunk around there.

It was the shark that you came for?

It was watery and overcooked. Where do you actually buy it?

It was in the Indian Ocean, I believe.

And you buy it - (sees Paul and Pete laughing and hunched over) Guys, do you want to listen?

Yeah, we're listening.

Yeah, show some respect.

Or are you just going to stand there and piss your pants? I'm trying to have a chat, but it's very rude.

Sorry, Gordon. Pete, show some fucking respect.

Sorry, Gordon, carry on.

You can't stand up, or...? (Pete stands up straight) What I'm trying to get through is modern British. It's hard to identify anything that's modern British. So, I'm here to help.

Okay.

This man [Nigel] hasn't even understood that yet. I didn't enjoy my lunch. It doesn't need to be that fancy.

It's pretty evident.

And it is on the verge of being pretentious; too much style and insufficient flavour. (Interview) The Granary, it's an amazing location but everything about it is fucking wrong. The teenage asbos, they're so full of themselves, it's fucking embarrassing. The decor's flash and pretentious, and the food, well, it can't be any more further away from modern British. No wonder the fucking locals aren't coming.