[throws a stack of paper on his desk into a rubbish bin]
Oh... actually, that's my dissertation. Yeah.
[retrieves the stack of papers from the rubbish bin and begins paging through it]
See, I argued that all life on Earth derived from organisms carried here by alien spacecraft. It's pretty sexy stuff.
[throws stack of papers back into the rubbish bin]
...It's a work in progress, really...
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