[After identical twins get the same exact haircut, one from a barber, the second one from a Feng Shui hairstylist]
Conclusion: it's bullshit! Save your money and go see Joe... and we'll tell you you're sex-ay for free!
“Feng Shui/Bottled Water” · Season 1, Episode 7
In this episode: Penn (4)
[Teller is on a stack of chairs, which fall over]
[on the subject of Feng Shui] You know, Teller, I find it silly that some people think that how you arrange your furniture can affect your health. It seems so...so...so...hmmm, stupid. [drinks out of Penn & Teller: Bullshit bottled water]
[on the subject of bottled water] Consumers are offered water with names conveying pure and pristine water sources. Ever hear of Alaskan Falls water? That must come from the crystal-clear glacial waters of our 49th state, right? Sorry, folks. Alaskan flows from this liquibox corporation building in Worthington, Ohio. Does the brand Yosemite conjure up visions of the cool, pristine waters rushing through California's high sierras? Well, then the marketers have done their jobs. The source of Yosemite bottled water is actually 400 miles away in Northwest Los Angeles. How about Everest Water? Could our piddly show possibly afford to send a camera crew to Nepal? NOT NECESSARY. Everest comes from the industrial section of Corpus Cristi, Texas! In fact, if you read the fine print on the FUCKING LABEL, they even admit that the water comes from a MUNICIPAL SOURCE! THAT IS TAP WATER, brothers and sisters of the cult of the bottle!
In much of the rest of the world, [drinking] tap water equals rapid and severe weight loss, with the introduction of new, probably harmful, friends to your intestines and other organs. Are we so ashamed of our wonderful tap water, that we have to disguise it?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Penn & Teller: Bullshit! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.