Someone once said that death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live. I could tell you who said it, but who the hell cares.
“What’s In The Ground Belongs To You” · Season 7, Episode 21
In this episode: Haley James Scott (6), Victoria Davis (1)
It all just seems so fake.This idea that good things happen to good people and there’s magic in the world, and that the meek and righteous will inherit it.There's too many good people who suffer for someting like that to be true.There are too many prayers that get unanswered.Every day we ignore how completely broken this world is, and we tell ourselves it’s all going to be okay."You're gonna be okay."But it’s not okay. And once you know that, there’s no going back. There’s no magic in the world…at least not today there isn’t.
I was thinking about the finality of it all – how somebody can leave your world in the blink of an eye and be gone forever. It’s too enormous to think about. It’s too hard. And then you’re just supposed to go on, right, like just deal with it, I mean really you’re only supposed to be sad for as long as the flowers last and then, oh, time to go back to telling jokes and reminiscing about the old days. I don’t have any jokes to tell.As a matter in fact I hope I never hear another joke as long as I live. And the old days are just that, they're old days, that are .. gone.
I hate to tell myself to just be happy. But I don’t feel happy. And when I try to change it, when I try to remember what being happy felt like, I can’t. I don’t feel joy. I don’t feel inspired. I feel numb.
Mom, it’s me. I know you’re gone. And you’re not coming back, but I was just thinking maybe somehow I could see you again or be able to talk to you or hear your voice. I snapped at Jamie today again, and he didn’t deserve it, and I don’t know why I did it, I just did. He deserves better than who I am right now and so does Nathan. Every day we ignore how truly broken this world truly is and we tell ourselves it’s all going to be okay."You're gonna be okay."But it’s not okay.I know that now.
Haley.. Haley listen to me. I know you're in a great deal of pain right now, but I also know you;re aware of the choices you're making. So I want you to listen to me... and then you can say something snarky and dismissive and then be on your way, but please sit.
Okay..
Your mother was proud of you. And it would break her heart to know that her beautiful, kind, inspired daughter was suffering like this. I know that, because I’m a mother, too. And so are you. Our lives are difficult. Our losses are unbearable sometimes. So grieve. Struggle. Find your way back on your own terms and in your own way. But remember this: your mother would want you to be vibrant and inspiring in the face of her loss. She would want you to fight your pain with all you’ve got. Because that’s the daughter she raised. And that’s the daughter she loved.
Julian (to Chase): I’ll take a beer...I’ve heard about your mixed drinks.
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