Numb3rs quotes

339 total quotes


Charlie Eppes: Coincidences are a mathematical reality. Statistically unlikely events can and often do occur. Just look at the genesis of our planet.
Dr. Larry Fleinhardt: Well, now, I agree that the factors that brought about life on Earth were statistically unlikely, but given the vastness of the cosmos, the limitless possibilities for matter and energy ... I'm with Einstein on this. There are no accidents.
Season Two

Charlie Eppes: Dad got shot. During a hold-up at a grocery store. It was pretty ... upsetting.
Don Eppes: Yeah, I bet.
Charlie Eppes: And Mom made pancakes.
Don Eppes: Pancakes?
Charlie Eppes: I don't even dream normally.

Charlie Eppes: Dad would be so happy if we married a doctor.
Don Eppes: Yeah, well, Dad would be happy if I married someone with a pulse.

Charlie Eppes: Dad, you called a tenured university professor to come fix the koi pond?

Charlie Eppes: Don, you have a big ego.
Don Eppes: Thanks.
Charlie Eppes: No, you have a ginormous ego.
Don Eppes: Thanks.

Charlie Eppes: Everything is numbers.

Charlie Eppes: Galactus? That's the guy who ate planets.
Dr. Larry Fleinhardt: Yeah, but he was stellar Darwinism. He was necessary to the survival of the universe.
Charlie Eppes: What?
Dr. Larry Fleinhardt: He was the third four, along with eternity and death.
Charlie Eppes: Larry, he wanted to eat the Earth.

Charlie Eppes: He brought the class gerbil home for Christmas break. He was so cute and I was playing with him while I was conducting an experiment one day and...who knew that gerbil fur was so flammable?

Charlie Eppes: He's Warspying.
Liz Warner: Just when I'm convinced you can't come up with something new.

Charlie Eppes: Hey ... so, we're gonna be back sometime Sunday night.
Alan Eppes: In time for dinner?
Charlie Eppes: Well, it is a math conference at Stanford ... so chances are we may be a little late.

Charlie Eppes: Hey, Amita, do you remember that we were going to do that one thing earlier?
Amita Ramanujan: What thing?
Charlie Eppes: That thing you said we needed to do. Let's go do it.
[Charlie and Amita leave]
Megan Reeves: What was that?
Dr. Larry Fleinhardt: Merely a very crude attempt at lending privacy.

Charlie Eppes: Hey, do me a favour. Go find Dr. Finch. Tell her we need a priority run on the super computer, and, you know, be convincing.
Oswald Kittner: I'll tell her the fate of democracy's at stake.
Charlie Eppes: I like that.

Charlie Eppes: Hey, hey, don't get all Fleinhardt on me. It's just the Physics Department Paper Airplane contest.
Dr. Larry Fleinhardt: Fleinhardt? Since when did my last name become a predicate adjective?
Charlie Eppes: Since your students started using it that way.

Charlie Eppes: Hey, how you doin', I'm Charlie.
Sari Kinshasa: Sari Kinshasa.
Alan Eppes: And I'm Alan.
Sari Kinshasa: Hello. You're FBI agents?
Charlie Eppes: I'm an FBI consultant.
Alan Eppes: I'm an FBI ... dad.

Charlie Eppes: Hey, Larry. How was the departmental breakfast?
Dr. Larry Fleinhardt: It was less than stellar. I was running late, and the only available seat was next to Professor Heinslose.
Charlie Eppes: The slurper.
Dr. Larry Fleinhardt: You know, all he had was the fruit plate, and he was deafening.