Numb3rs quotes

339 total quotes

Alan Eppes: Listen, when you're done with that, would you mind looking at something for me?
Charlie Eppes: Yeah, sure, what is it?
Alan Eppes: My profile. I'm joining Facebook... Well, I figured, since I'm back in college I might as well hook up with some old friends, maybe even find some new ones. People with similar interests as mine.
Charlie Eppes: Intrests in what? High School Musical?

Alan Eppes: Look at this workload of mine. How do these kids do it?
Charlie Eppes: They're kids.

Alan Eppes: Oh, come on, no. The house is fine †it's old, but it works ... you know, mostly ... I mean, it's a lot like me.

Alan Eppes: Please tell me that the food will be a color other than white.

Alan Eppes: That's why using the water system makes perfect sense. They don't need to spread the poison themselves, the city distribution system will do the work for them!

Alan Eppes: They're having an all-night math-a-thon in the living room.

Alan Eppes: Well, it seems like your new math consultant is working out nicely.
Don Eppes: I gotta tell you, dad, I can't think of anyone who could have helped us the way Charlie did in this investigation.
Alan Eppes: You just remember how Charlie is. Can't seem to quit a problem. He's still working on the same one he's had since grade school.
Don Eppes: And what's that?
Alan Eppes: Trying to impress his big brother.

Alan Eppes: What am I missing? Do I have to wait for Larry King?
Dr. Larry Fleinhardt: The royal astronomical society published a paper recalculating the demise of the earth and shortening it's lifespan considerably.
Charlie Eppes: We still got another 7,59 billion years.

Alan Eppes: What is wrong with you? Amita is beautiful, this girl's a stunner; what do you need?
Don Eppes: I think he just wants to be the cutest in bed.

Alan Eppes: What? So we'll just wait?
Charlie Eppes: Until they need me.
Alan Eppes: What are they gonna need you for?
Charlie Eppes: There's always something.

Alan Eppes: You save all the dirty jobs for yourself.
Don Eppes: I do what has to be done †it's not like I like doing the dirty work.

Alan Eppes: You're ruining the game for the schmucks who play it to enjoy.
Dr. Larry Fleinhardt: Yeah, well, those are the schmucks who should stick to slot machines.

Amita Ramanujan: Actually, I'm spoken for, Mr. Eppes.
Alan Eppes: Really?
Amita Ramanujan: Back in Madras my parents arranged for marriage to a family friend. Nice Hindu banker from Goa.
Charlie Eppes: Really? Getting married?
Amita Ramanujan: God, no. He's a total ass.

Amita Ramanujan: Byzantines fighting side by side with Cowboys and Indians?
Charlie Eppes: I had an imaginative childhood.

Amita Ramanujan: Charlie, you really can't be too careful.
Charlie Eppes: You're wrong. This is proof right here you can be too careful.