Murder, She Wrote Season 1 quotes

Bill Ainsley: [after Jessica exposes the murderer] Come on, this is crazy. Tell her!

Susan Ainsley: Tell her what? Bill, I'm sorry. She did call me. Crazy Alex. Drunk, scared and angry. Me, who she was always putting down. Well, I had no trouble finding her. And I was ready for her. And she was glad to see me. I couldn't just run her down. Suppose she lived through that? I had to be sure.

Jessica Fletcher: It wasn't enough to kill Alex. You tried to fix the blame on Coby. You knew if he was found guilty of killing Alex, he couldn't share in the treasure.

Susan Ainsley: You think that was it? You think the money was it? Well, let me tell you something. I was sick and tired of being the outsider. Bill was a diver. So they would accept Bill, no problem. But Alex kept harping on how the only thing I paid attention to was my looks. Well, my looks are the only thing that I have. I was never smart enough for them. And they kept throwing it back in my face.

Bill Ainsley: Honey, that's just not true.

Susan Ainsley: It is true, Bill. You just never paid any attention to it. To them, I was your airhead wife. Anyway, I went back to Hill House, and I located Coby's rental car. And then I made sure I was alone. And I took off my jacket, and I wrapped it around the tire iron to muffle the sound. And then I smashed the grill and the headlight. And then very carefully picked up every piece of glass, and I took it back with me to that dark, deserted road. Bill ... Bill, I didn't do it for me. I did it for us, baby. It was all right there for the taking, everything we ever wanted.

Jessica Fletcher: Seems you're always sailing away.

David Everett: I never said I was smart.

Billy Simms: [after Jessica exposes him as the murderer] Okay, okay, okay. Oh, God, I did it. About three weeks ago, I tried to work up the courage to tell him who Kay really was. I kept putting it off because I was afraid. Well, I finally screwed up my guts to tell him and he told me, warned me never ever to mention it again to anyone. I watched her grow up, Mrs. Fletcher. I saw her turn into a fine young woman. She's bright and talented and independent. I figured she deserved his recognition.

Jessica Fletcher: Then Kay doesn't know?

Billy Simms: Her mother, Olivia, she was the only one who could ever stand up to Bennett. He offered to marry her. She turned him down. Must have transferred his hatred for her onto Kay. He told me to fire her, discredit her. Mrs. Fletcher, I sold out my whole life to that man. But, well, you get to a point where you just can't take that final step.

Jessica Fletcher: Captain, I wouldn't dream of asking you to bend your personal policy for me. But a friend of mine in Washington asked me to call the governor while I was here. Just a friendly chat. And I intend to compliment the governor on the personal attention that you give to police department policy. The name is Browning, isn't it?

Joan Fulton: [after confessing to the murders] If I hadn't gotten Houston, he would have sent someone else. Call it self-preservation. It's one of those economic principles they don't teach you at business school.

Kevin Keats: Don't you worry about your Cabot Cove gig. I have no intention of drowning in the backwaters of Maine.

Doug Helman: Check your contracts. You have a choice. Either take the assignment or go off salary.

Kevin Keats: On the other hand, I've always loved the smell of sea air. I hope the tide's in.

Nick Brody: [after Jessica accuses him of committing the murder] Helman told me I was through. He said he was sorry, but if he didn't give in to the network on the small things, he wouldn't get anywhere on the big ones. You can guess how that made me feel. The phone rang as I was starting out, and he turned his back to me.

Jessica Fletcher: So you stayed to listen.

Nick Brody: I knew he was talking to Kevin. And I was trying to think of something that would win Kevin over to my side. Then I became aware of what they were getting at, what they were setting up. That's when I got the idea. It just flashed in my head, very clear and very terrifying because I knew I'd do it.

Jessica Fletcher: How did you get to Cabot Cove?

Nick Brody: I drove all night. It's not that far. Only 350 miles. Oh, about the bomb? Well, you don't get to be a 63-year-old reporter without learning something.

Jessica Fletcher: But what did killing Mr. Helman solve for you? He was only following the network's orders.

Nick Brody: Without Helman, I had a better-than-even chance of staying with the show. I had more experience than any of them. To hell with the audience research. So I wasn't young, vicious or even pretty, but I was the one who could talk sense to them. I'm a newsman. I'm not a performer. I tried to tell Doug that. And whatever he started out believing, in the end, he bought the idea that the wrapping paper, the wrapping paper, was more important than the package. If you don't mind, I'd like to finish this rewrite while we're waiting for the sheriff. Just dial nine for an outside line.

Maggie Tarrow: [after Jessica exposes the murderer] Julian, why? Why?

Julian Lord: Why? To protect you, my darling, from Barbara. She was the one who planted the birth certificate. Oh, I figured out her game when I went back to the theater. She'd planned it all very carefully with the exception of my refusal to go on with her. Yes, then the real Barbara came out. I knew I would never be free of her blackmail. Jessica, I had to do it.

Jessica Fletcher: My goodness, look at you. You've lost a lot of weight.

Dorian Beecher: Cafeteria food. Thousands for bridles and bits, but not one penny for a decent steak.

Penn "Doc" Walker: [after Jessica exposes him as the murderer] I hadn't planned to kill him. I didn't think I had the guts. I'd just gotten back to my place when Nate showed up with that broken tooth. He was in a lot of pain, cussin' out Dorian. And just like you figured, Mrs. Fletcher, by then, I knew he was the one. But I just kept workin' on that tooth, tryin' to figure out somethin' to do. And then he saw Gretchen's picture, and he started talkin' about her. He was drunk out of his mind. Just the way he'd been that night when he drove her car into the river and then swam off to save his own skin without tryin' to help her. Yes, he told me all about it. I got dizzy. My head was poundin'. Suddenly, I just took a pick and jabbed it into his neck. Didn't take long to die. His horse had been left out back, and I knew that I had to make it seem that he'd ridden out of town, that the killing took place out in the country. So I stripped off his outfit, and I put it on. Then I rode out of town makin' a big ruckus, so's folks would notice. Then, out on the road near the school, I nearly ran down Dorian. Poor guy. Scared the heart out of him. And then it came to me. Dorian threatenin' Nate, the Headless Horseman, it all seemed so perfect. Dorian was lyin' there out cold. So I let the horse go, and I rushed back to town. Nate's body was stuffed into the trunk of my car. I drove back out and redressed Nate in the outfit.

Shff. Sam Rankin: I guess that explains how the boots got on the wrong feet.

Penn "Doc" Walker: Then I took the saber, and ... You know the rest of it.

Jessica Fletcher: I'm sorry, Doc.

Penn "Doc" Walker: Doesn't matter. Gretchen was the best thing that ever happened to me. Ever since she died, I've just been going through the motions.

Blanton: We're delighted you're flying with us, Miss Greer. If I may be of any service...

Sonny Greer: Be sure the food's hot and the drinks are cold. We'll get along famously.

Otto Hardwick: Charles Lindbergh had less hassle soloing across the Atlantic than I've been subjected to.

Errol Pogson: Then next time, why don't you do what he did? Fly alone.

Sonny Greer: [after Jessica exposes her as the murderer] You're right, Mrs. Fletcher. So very right. Leon was my lover. Only I found out I didn't have him exclusively. He climbed into my bed to climb out of his chauffeur's seat and onto bigger and better things for himself. He had an eye on a vice presidency in one of my late father's firms, and he was bedding the wife of a board member to get it. Only yesterday I learned he was secretly planning to meet that woman in London and give me the gate. Well, nobody tosses me aside. He was a nobody.