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S4 E6

Monty Python's Flying Circus · Season 4, Episode 6

Vendor, Dad and others in “Party Political Broadcast”

VVendor

A strong hive of bees contains approximately 75,000 bees. Each honey bee must make 154 trips to collect one teaspoon of honey. Hello, sir.

DDad

What do you want?

VVendor

Would you like to buy some of our honey, sir?

MMother

What you doing in here?

VVendor

Which would you like, the Californian Orange Blossom, the Mexican, the New Zealand, or the Scottish Heather?

MMother

He can't eat honey. It makes him go plop plops.

VVendor

Come on, please try some.

DDad

All right, I'll have some Icelandic Honey.

VVendor

No, there is no such thing.

DDad

You mean you don't make any honey at all?

VVendor

No, no, we must import it all. Every bally drop. We are a gloomy people. It's so crikey cold and dark up there, and only fish to eat. Fish and imported honey. Oh strewth!

MMother

Well why do you have a week?

VVendor

Listen buster! In Rejkyavik it is dark for eight months of the year, and it's cold enough to freeze your wrists off and there's only golly fish to eat. Administrative errors are bound to occur in enormous quantities. Look at this -- it's all a mistake. It's a real pain in the sphincter! Icelandic Honey Week? My life!

MMother

Well why do you come in here trying to flog the stuff, then?

VVendor

Listen cowboy, I got a job to do. IT'S A STUPID, POINTLESS JOB, BUT AT LEAST IT KEEPS ME AWAY FROM ICELAND, ALL RIGHT? The leg of the worker bee has...

[They slam the door on him.]

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