Charlotte quotes from Making Fiends

Charlotte

We'd better get back to class. [singing] Monkeys stay up late- [Vendetta throws clam ice cream at Charlotte.] Oh! Thanks, Vendetta! I just know we're going to be friends forever and ever! [singing] Monkeys never wait for buses, 'cause they have nowhere to be!

Charlotte

[grabs the present and reads the note] "Dear stupid girl..." That's me! "Here's a new friend for you to play with. A very good friend indeed. Heh heh heh, yours fatally, Vendetta."

Charlotte

[plays the tuba] I am playing a tuba! Yay! It sounds like hugs sliding down from rainbows!

Charlotte

Look at this pretty picture of Vendetta! But why is there an ugly red line over her face?

Uh... Charlotte, what did you bring to show and tell?

Charlotte

This is Buttons. He's my hamster. He's my favorite hamster in the whole world. And I also have this. It's a pretty rock. Vendetta gave it to me.

I threw it at you!

Charlotte

Vendetta is soooo nice!

Ah! What are you doing? Stop that!

Charlotte

Whee! Ooh, hi Vendetta! Would you like to slide with me?

How dare you ask me to slide? I do not slide!

Charlotte

Oh, okay. Let's pretend to be administrators instead!

No!

Charlotte

Or sausage makers?

No!

Charlotte

Or postal clerks?

No!

Heh heh heh, I scored mostly evil!

Charlotte

Oh! A magazine quiz! [takes the magazine and starts doing the quiz]

Stop it! Magazines are not for stupid people like you! Give it back!

Charlotte

Oh! That was fun. I scored super evil! Yippee!

Impossible! Give me that! [takes the magazine] I cannot believe it! But if you cannot trust a magazine quiz... what can you trust?

Charlotte

[sees a butterfly] Oh, pretty!

What are you doing? Are you making a fiend?

Charlotte

No, I'm baking cookies! Yum!

Poison cookies?

Charlotte

No.

Exploding cookies?

Charlotte

Butter cookies!

Will you lure people into traps with them?

Charlotte

I'm going to give them to everyone as presents. [accidentally splatters cookie batter onto Vendetta] Everyone loves cookies!

[wipes off batter] I hate cookies.

Yes! Everyone must obey the triangle of tastiness!

Charlotte

But what about vegetables?

Pah! What about them?

Charlotte

They should be on the menu too, because they're so healthy and delicious! [singing] Eat vegetables with every meal-- [Vendetta throws a grape punch carton at her]

That is what I think of your vegetables, you stupid blue girl! [walks away]

Charlotte

I think she's really going to like vegetables! Teehee!

Charlotte

Grandma! Do you have any cookbooks?

Cookbooks? I love cookbooks! They have so many pretty pictures and nice recipes! What kind do you need?

Charlotte

I want to make lunch for my friend Vendetta. But she only likes clams, beef jerky and grape punch.

Yum!

Charlotte

I know! But I think she should like vegetables, too.

Well, of course she should! Let's see here. I have a cookbook or two that might help you out [reveals a big shelf with cookbooks and reads some of the book's titles] Pickling potatoes, Clam cabaret, Exquisite squids... Oh! Here we are!

Charlotte

Concealing carrots. Perfect!

Charlotte

Oh, hi Vendetta! Don't you just love your pretty new hat? It matches your pretty new purse!

I do not have a purse.

Charlotte

Yes you do! [gestures towards the purse] It matches your pretty new lipgloss!

No! Do not touch my lips! [Charlotte pulls out a paintbrush] My lips are not to be glossy!

Charlotte

[paints a smile on the statue] Yay! Teehee! [swings on the statue's elbow then sings] Pretty pretty pretty, Vendetty-ditty-ditty.

Charlotte

Hi Vendetta! Are you hiding Easter eggs? [gasps] Can I play?

No! I am hatching my pigeon fiends, which will climb up this ladder and explode you! [the eggs hatch] What are you waiting for, pigeon fiends? Explode her! [pigeon fiends come closer to Vendetta] Attack! Attack her, you stupid pigeons! Ahhh! Why are you coming closer? Do not come any closer? Shoo! Go away! Go away!

Charlotte

[slides down ladder] How cute! They think you're their mommy!

What!? I am not their mommy! Why would they think such a stupid thing!?

Charlotte

Because you hatched them with your love! They want to love you back!

Your talk of love makes me sick!

No, I want to be bigger!

Charlotte

But Vendetta, you don't need to be bigger, you already have the biggest heart.

Charlotte

[sighs] You're so lucky. I wish my parents could be here.

Why? Where are your parents?

Charlotte

They're in a better place...up there. [Pointing up]

Were they eaten by bears?

You are wasting my fiend. Sing!

Charlotte

But Vendetta, what can I do if a kitty is stranded up high and I want to get it down?

You could shoot it... with a water gun. Or you could throw puppies at it until it loses its grip. Or you could do nothing. I am sure that the kitten will get weak with hunger and fall down all by itself.

Ugh!