WGWalter Gimbert
Of course, the best form of security is a carefully contrived appearance of neglect.
LILara Iskander
[Sarcastically as she brushes dust off his shoulder] Then you must be a very safe man.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[Looking with distaste at Tink's garish bowtie] Where are you going in that foul thing?
Women's Institute.
[as Tink walks away] What would Tinker be doing at the Woman's Institute?
What everyone does at the Women's Institute... talk about sex.
[Opening his door and seeing Pulver] Arnie... hah, you give me a break?
DADS Arnie Pulver
I'd love to... right around the fourth vertebrae.
Betrayal does not come easily to me.
KDKonrad Dekker
[Angrily, as he sees Lovejoy in police headquarters] Hey! Why isn't this man behind bars? First, he robs my gallery, then my house. What now - my soul?
Where would I find it, Konnie?
You know, Lovejoy, you'll have so few friends you'll only have one handle on your coffin, and that'll be on the inside.
If only the moon were made of green cheese, then rockets would be shaped like fondue forks.
[to Lovejoy] I wouldn't trust you with a stuffed gerbil, let alone a baby.
[Aside to camera] Sometimes the past is a safer place.
You're a barker. Barkers don't retire.
Ronnie Barker did.
Nelson Mandela is President of South Africa, you're going on the wagon, and I'm getting married.
Here's to the three of us.
[about his marriage] Are you getting cold feet?
Can't tell, Tink. I have no feeling below my knees.
As long as you have feelings above them.
[to Jane] The trouble with women like us is we think we can change people like Lovejoy.
[Last words of the episode and the entire series] The past is a foreign country, and Lovejoy doesn't live there anymore.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Lovejoy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.