[to Charlotte, his bound and gagged captive, as he devises a death trap for Lovejoy] Remarkable how rewarding life can be if only one is prepared to be adaptable.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
You're a smart woman, Miss Cavendish. It will be a pleasure to kill you.
SCSam Cavendish
[after learning of Charlotte's kidnapping] Funny, we never know what we value most till we stand to lose it.
[Sadistically, to a trapped Lovejoy] Smile! You're on Candid Camera!
You've got a first-class mind, Lovejoy. It's a pleasure to read it!
Listen, some people... chaps, like to keep things private... like Tink. I respected him for that.
Fine, OK, fine. Forget it.
[She self-consciously clears her throat]
Are you blaming me for something, Charlotte?
Sometimes, people... chaps... need to share things, but they need a signal... otherwise they bottle it up... and that can be sad. That's all I'm saying.
[Both are silent]
Do you remember, Tinker, where you was when Kennedy died?
My dear Beth, I don't remember where I was last Wednesday.
FWFrank Whymark
[to Lovejoy] Offer a man a bribe. If he refuses, offer him a bullet. - Al Capone 1928.
FWFrank Whymark
[to Lovejoy] My feeling about pain is, it's better to give than to receive.
[Looking at a sketch of the girl who robbed him] Jim, excuse me. I saw her at the auction. She's not more than 25!
JLJim Leonard
What are you getting at?
Well, nothing, Maestro, except you don't look like Gregory Peck anymore.
JLJim Leonard
Nor does Gregory Peck!
Who's Gregory Peck?
A samurai sword.
Mmmm! [Takes the photocopy and looks at it] Bet that spilt some blood in its day.
Its day may not be over. It might only be Group A Rhesus positive, but it's all I got.
KPKevin the Ponce
We've all got our blind spots, Mr. Burgess.
BBurgess
Haven't we all?
AWAlice Williams
[Pouting] Lovejoy, I can't live on bread and kisses.
A bit starchy, isn't it? You need a bit of protein.
Oh, you're an artist? Have I ever seen anything of yours hung?
AWAlice Williams
Only Lovejoy.
Have I annoyed you in some way?
[Clearly frustrated] I want to make it absolutely plain to you, Lovejoy, that you do not annoy me, and that is what is so completely infuriating.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Lovejoy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.