Danny Holt quotes from London Spy

Danny

I just had a hunch. Sometimes you have to take a chance, right? Otherwise, how do you know?

Danny

I have a question. How do we live without the people that we love? I can hear his reply. "We must figure this question out for ourselves." He's right. He was always right. Except, my friend... I don't want to know. I don't want to know how to live without you. I don't want to figure out how to stop feeling this sad.

Scottie

You love falling in love. The moment when it's all possibilities and dreams.

Danny

You think he's out of my league?

Scottie

The thought never crossed my mind.

Danny

Where are we going to drink tonight?

Scottie

Somewhere dimly lit and terribly old-fashioned.

Danny

So we're on the doorstep, saying goodbye. And I'm trying to give him Pavel's number, because I don't have a phone except he doesn't write it down. And I'm like... "If you don't want to... if you don't want see me again..." And then he says, "Numbers, Danny, I have no problem with." Like he could remember every phone number in the world. And then... we shook hands! If you'd have told me a week ago I'd be this happy with a handshake at the end of a date... I'm sorry. I'll stop talking about him.

Scottie

It's all right, I understand.

Danny

It's just the feeling, you know? Not being able to think about anyone else.

Danny

So you turn up, on my doorstep... Which is wonderful! Except I never told you where I live. And I was wondering, and I should say in advance that I don't mind, but... did you carry out some kind of background check on me?

Alex

The way we met was unusual.

Danny

Right. So... you thought "Stranger! Seduction!" Not that, erm, I'm presuming you're seduced by me. That's, erm... process ongoing. Erm, what was I saying? Erm, yeah, so you thought, our meeting was part of... a set-up? It's fine. It's fun. I just... I thought you said I was easy to read?

Alex

That would've been the reason you were selected. The appearance of innocence.

Danny

I'm not innocent.

Alex

You might be the only innocent person I know.

Danny

Can you tell me what your real name is now?

Alex

My name is Alex.

Danny

Did you imagine you'd spend the rest of your life alone?

Alex

Yes.

Danny

I can't begin to understand what that must feel like.

Alex

You always knew you'd find someone?

Danny

Always.

Alex

I can't imagine what that must feel like.

Danny

You saw me.What I mean is, you saw me. And you asked if I was OK. And not like most people ask it. Like they've asked it a hundred times that day already, you asked it as if nothing else mattered to you. And I thought, how is it that this person, who I've never seen before... How are they the only person in the whole world who knows? That I'm not OK. And I was sure if I could just find out your name, if I could just find out who you were... then everything would be OK.

Alex

What if everything isn't OK?

Danny

Then we tell each other. And we deal with it. Whatever it is, we deal with it. Together. Is there something you want to tell me?

Alex

No.

You don't use his name. Is it true you didn't even know it? Did he ever tell you he was in danger?

Danny

No.

OK, I get it. He's a spy, he needed to be careful. You met by chance. First day, he lied. But eight months later you want to spend the rest of your lives together and you're still using the wrong name to say how much you love him?

Danny

He told me his name was Alex.

People lie, Danny. And they lie well.

Danny

This is his room.

Frances

How did you know?

Danny

Because it's the loneliest room I've ever been in.

Danny

Do you believe in soul mates?

Alex

No. Not only do I not believe in them... it's not even a nice idea.

Danny

Not a nice idea?

Alex

That there's only just one other person out there for you. What are the odds this person would be in the same country? Or the same city? That their paths would even cross? It would mean almost everyone in the world is with the wrong person. If it's a way of saying, "we're good together", why not just say "we're good together"? But if you mean it literally...

Danny

You think there are better people out there for you?

Alex

There might be. For both of us. But since we don't know them, it's just a theoretical.

Danny

Yes. It's... a sentimental idea. The maths doesn't add up. But... we're by the fire, we're under a night sky. Couldn't you just have said "yes"?

Alex

Is that what your soul mate would've done?

Danny

I knew.

But not really.

Danny

Not in the way you did, no.

His partner... without any appreciation of his intellect. Beyond some generalised idea that he was good with numbers. Love without knowledge. Popular culture might depict that as a romantic notion, I suppose.

Danny

He never spoke about his work.

What did you talk about?

Danny

Everything else.

I see. No, I don't. I don't see at all.

Danny

Well, what did you two talk about? Outside of work?

We didn't. Look, try to understand, I was sure, absolutely certain that he was going to change the world in some way. Not my world. The world. Can you imagine the enormity of that feeling? Being in the company of someone like that?

What are you going to do now?

Danny

I'm going to do nothing.

Frances

A question. I'll permit a question. But just one. [Silence. They sit]That will be all. We both loved him.

Danny

Yes.

Frances

Can't we pretend, for a while, that's all we need to say? [Silence] There was always something of the mystic about you. Fortune teller-soothsayer, a person who knows nothing, yet sees everything.

Danny

Alex was the last person to hold your hand.

Frances

Question?

Danny

Statement.

Frances

Yes. Yes, he was.

Danny

You blame me for his death.

Frances

Question?

Danny

Statement.

Frances

Yes. Yes, I do.

Danny

How can you blame me... unless you know why he was killed?

Frances

It is a good question.