Jessica Jones quotes from Jessica Jones

That whiskey say something to piss you off?

Jessica

Hit me.

Third glass tonight.

Jessica

Put it on my tab.

You drinking to remember or forget?

Jessica

Giving a shit won't get you a better tip.

I give a shit if you're planning to get loaded, trash my place of work.

Jessica

I'm planning to sit here and drink, until I come up with a better plan.

Now she's in trouble.

Jessica

Why do you think that?

My balls are tingling.

Jessica

There's medication for that.

In my line of work, you learn to trust your instincts.

Jessica

Griffin, why don't you go home? She might be there.

Don't manage me, okay? I know she's in trouble.

Jessica

Because of your scroty-sense?

Goddamn right!

Jessica

Look, I track people for a living. You know how strong I am. So let me get to work in finding her.

If you hear anything...

Jessica

I will call you, first thing.

You found her, then.

Jessica

I forgot to call.

Yeah, your follow-through blows.

Malcolm

How did you know he was an ex-con?

Jessica

People don't usually panic at the sight of cops unless they've ridden in the back of a cruiser.

Malcolm

So our landlord randomly replaces Alfredo with this guy?

Jessica

Who's Alfredo?

Malcolm

The old super. He was good people. His wife used to make empanadas on Sundays. Always passed them around the building. I guess not to you.

Jessica

Rare teaching moment, Malcolm: If the old super was such a gem, empanadas for days, but he still got canned...

Malcolm

Oscar's got something on our landlord.

Jessica

Pay him a visit and find out. And be nice. The nicer, the better. Eugene can be a dick.

Jessica

I didn't know that you were on parole when I brought the cops here, all right? I'm not an asshole.

Oscar Arocho

No? What kind of person takes advantage of a little kid's fantasies to get inside someone's apartment?

Jessica

I figured he'd be asleep.

Oscar

That's your excuse? That kid means everything to me, okay? He's my reason for being. Okay, do you have anyone that makes you feel like that? Or have they all run away from you? [closes and locks door]

Jessica

[shows a picture] We're looking for this woman. Has she come in here?

My clients value their privacy.

Trish

[takes out $100] For the wigs I tore up.

This wouldn't cover synthetic. [Trish gives her another $100] She comes in alone, no name and pays cash. Poor dear.

Jessica

Why poor dear?

She lost all her hair. Chemo, I imagine. Cancer and drag queens are half my business these days.

Trish

Anything else? [trades looks and gives Sally another $100]

No, that's all.

Trish

Now I remember why I bit her.

Jessica

I've heard a lot about you. All of it nauseating.

Who's this?

Jessica

Looks like your face got in the way of someone's fist. Want a replay?

Jessica

What did I do now? Read your mail? Kill your cat?

Oscar

You saved Vido's life. He told me. I can't pay you back for that. Ever. But I'm tearing up the eviction notice, and I wanted to say thank you. [places bottle of alcohol on the floor] Here. I was an asshole. I'm just scared of losing my son. I'm sorry.

Jessica

Find out everything she knows about her former employers and about her coworker who suddenly left the company.

Malcolm

Got it. What else?

Jessica

Everything else. At least until I can get out of this hellhole.

Malcolm

When's that gonna be?

Jessica

Depends on if I can get through this next part without losing my shit.

Malcolm

You didn't do the crime. Truth matters.

Jessica

Not if nobody wants to believe it. [sighs] You're in charge of Alias. Don't mess it up.

[hands Jessica a card]Hey, listen, just in case you come up with anything else for us...

Jessica

One show-and-tell doesn't make us partners.

You want to go it alone, that's your call. But there's a lot of people on the force that wanna see you locked up.

Jessica

And you're the only white hat in a sea of black hats.

Not the only one. There's a few of us here who remember what Kilgrave did in this precinct. I had nightmares of holding my own gun to my head. The feeling of my finger on the trigger.

Jessica

I recommend hypnosis.

I didn't need that, because, uh the dreams stopped the day you took that asshole out.

Jeri

Pryce, you are embarrassing yourself.

Pryce

You're the embarrassment, Jeri. Helping her out? Huh? What was it, bribery? Perjury? I'll find out.

Jessica

Hey. Get your head out of your ass, Cheng.

Pryce

Or what? What are you gonna do, huh? Take me out, too? I've seen you in action. I've seen that look in your eye. You're a killer.

Jessica

Not today, I'm not. Today, I'm free. Do you know why? No, 'cause you're a shitty investigator. So go talk to the cops, go steal someone else's cases. You know what? Go beat off in the corner, because I don't give a dead moose's last shit. I'm gonna find the actual killer.

Jessica

You get Inez to Jeri Hogarth, at this address. Tell her you're my associate.

Malcolm

Wait, did you just promote me?

Jessica

Maybe.

Malcolm

[chuckles] Does it come with a raise?

Jessica

No. Get going.

Malcolm

Whatever you say, associate. [laughs]

Jessica

I'm instantly regretting this.

Jessica

So, why the shitty day?

Oscar

[sighs] My ex. Using my kid against me.

Jessica

Well, there's a saying in my business: "Where there's an ex, there's always a why."

Oscar

I'm not one of your clients.

Jessica

You're right, it's none of my business.

Oscar

[sighs] Well I wasn't a good husband. We were too young. I fooled around on her.

Jessica

You don't have to tell me.

Oscar

It was a long time ago. It's got nothing to do with the kind of father I am today.

Jessica

Okay.

Oscar

Just trying to start again here.

Malcolm

Morning.

Jessica

What is that supposed to mean?

Malcolm

I just said good morning. [chuckles] It doesn't take a PI or even a PI's associate to recognize a walk of shame. You left your phone here last night, you've got serious bedhead going on, and you're covered in paint. [Jessica sighs] Banging the super, huh?

Jessica

How about you use some of those skills I've taught you to do something useful?

Trish

How did you know he was gonna be at the club?

Jessica

It's Sunday. What else do rich assholes with private golf club memberships do? Let's go hit some balls.