Stanley Richmond quotes from Jericho

Stanley

Are you okay?

Mimi

Huh, if you call radiation poisoning "okay".

Stanley

Were you out in the rain, too?

Mimi

Heavens no! I touched a building when we came out of the shelter.

Stanley

Oh.

Mimi

Look, you can stop pretending.

Stanley

What do you mean?

Mimi

I audited your farm. Why do you care?

Stanley

Maybe I'm a nicer person than you.

Mimi

Right. Were you in the rain?

Stanley

Yeah, for about twenty minutes.

Mimi

Well, you look pretty good.

Stanley

Thanks. You know, try to work out.

Stanley

Look, um, you know I think I got the worst of it, so as long as I'm okay, you should be fine.

Mimi

You're really sweet. And you still owe the IRS $180,000.

Stanley

Yeah, I know.

Stanley

I couldn't find an empty pesticide container so I thought this water tank might do.

Heather

No no no, we can't use steel, there is to much risk of static. One spark and the whole thing could blow sky high.

Jake

We don't have time to look for something else!

Heather

We can't, well, who's gonna fill it?

Jake

I'm tired of war, no one ever really wins.

Stanley

Me too.

Mimi

We could play crazy eights instead or hearts?

Stanley

No, I'm calling it a night.

Mary

Call it whatever you want but it stopped being night hours ago. Ya'll want coffee?

Mimi

Make mine an Irish.

Jake

So Mimi, what would you be doing if you were back home in DC?

Mimi

Sleeping. You know the hardest thing about sleeping in this dump? The quiet, yeah I don't know how you stand it, it's like my brain is an echo chamber.

Jake

Why do you think I left town?

Mimi

I have a proposition. The hotel I was staying in closed and since you owe the government more than $180,000

Stanley

No one’s heard from the government in weeks.

Mimi

Consider me the government.

Stanley

Fine then I still get to call you Uncle Sam. Nice watch.

Mimi

It’s a Rolex.

Stanley

You got the time?

Mimi

It’s, um….It just stopped working after the pulse, just like everyone else’s.

Stanley

Well, how about I pay you when it starts up again?

Mimi

You’re being an idiot. I am trying to give you a chance to protect your interests.

Stanley

You’re too kind.

Mimi

What we did (sex), it’s not what you think. I had a weak moment. It was a mistake.

Stanley

I’m really good at making mistakes.

Mimi

Yes, you are.

Mimi

This will never work.

Stanley

Ah, that's what they said about Brangelina.

Mimi

Are you seriously quoting US magazine right now?

Stanley

Yeah, what do you think they'd call us? Stimiley? Mimiley? [Pause] St... Stimi!

Mimi

[Laughing] You are such an idiot!

Stanley

It’s nice to meet you, Miss Clark.

Mimi

Do you not read your mail?

Stanley

Nope. Nothing but bills and bad news. Why?

Mimi

Well, this would be a little of both. I work for the IRS and according to our records you owe $180,000 in back taxes. It’s nice to meet you.

Stanley

Well, now, who doesn’t like corn? I mean you got corn on the cob, cornflakes, corn nuts, corndogs, cornsicles.

Mimi

Cornsicles?

Stanley

It’s a joke, lady.

Mimi

Can you not talk to me please?

Mimi

The closest I ever got to the outdoors was the Ralph Lauren section of Neiman Marcus.

Stanley

Bargain hunting. Same thing but with a gun.

Mimi

Bargains? At Neiman's? Sometimes I forget that the biggest designer in your closet is Wrangler.

Stanley

What are you laughing at?

Jake

I’ve never seen you in a domestic squabble before.

Stanley

Knock it off.

Mimi

This isn’t squabbling.

Mimi

Your lips are still cold.

Stanley

Well...maybe you can warm them up.

Mimi

That's the worst line I've ever heard!

Jake

Wager for the first kill.

Stanley

I’m in for a dozen eggs.

Jake

Two hours chopping wood.

Mimi

Tax Return consultation.

Stanley

How about foot massages for a week? For me, not for him.

Mimi

We’ll talk.

Mimi

I just realized.

Stanley

Hmm?

Mimi

If the government is up and running, you know what that means, right?

Stanley

No.

Mimi

Paperwork. They’ll need accountants again.

Stanley

Does that mean I’m back in debt?

Mimi

Don’t be so negative. New York made it. Come next summer I’ll be taking walks through Central Park. [Stanley shakes his head] What?

Stanley

Not now, Mimi.

Mimi

Like hell right now, Cornhusker.

Stanley

Cornhuskers are from Nebraska, I’m a Jayhawker...What? What?

Mimi

You drive me so crazy and you know that I can’t stay here forever but, the truth is I can’t live without you, either.

Stanley

Really?

Mimi

Yes, really.

Mimi

In this crazy world, we don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow and I don’t wanna leave anything unsaid, so I’m just going to say it, okay? So here I go..

Stanley

I’ve loved you since the first day I saw you at Bailey’s.

Mimi

You said it…you said it first. No one’s ever said it first to me before.

Stanley

I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, plus I can hold it over you for the rest of our lives. [kisses Mimi]

Mimi

I love you Stanley Richmond.

Stanley

But I said it first. [kisses Mimi]

Bonnie

[signing] Thank you.

Stanley

For what?

Bonnie

Letting Sean stay.

Stanley

You're welcome.

Bonnie

And for not calling him an idiot, even when he is one.

Stanley

Okay, if you know that...

Mimi

[clears throat] Sorry, just a little frog in my throat. Don't let me interrupt your nice sibling bonding moment. That's what it is, right?

Bonnie

[continues signing] Sean can be an idiot, but he can also be really great. All guys are like that, you have to put up with the "idiot" stuff...to get to the "great" stuff.

Stanley

[chuckles] Yeah? And where did you come by that little pearl of wisdom?

Mimi

What'd she say about me?