When I got to the monastery post-crash, I learned of a certain position. A powerful, important job and I wanted it.
Your dad always said to set your goals high.
Yeah. Everyone there, and I mean everyone, said there was no way a xiaoguilao like me could do it–
A xiaogui... what?
Yeah, uh it sort of means "an outsider". That's what they called me.
Sounds kinda mean.
Sort of cool too. Besides, it just made me want the job more.
Yeah, sure, I get that.
So, problem was I never thought through why I wanted this job. I mistook my stubborn will for a sense of destiny or something. I never counted the cost of what it would actually mean for my life.
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