Human Giant Season 1 quotes

"I'm Suryat, are your balls bigger than mine? No, of course not, I'm Suryat, my balls are huge!" (Aziz Ansari as Suryat)

"It's the prank of the century! Paul made love to a dude, yeah!" (Aziz Ansari)

"Corn maze!" (Rob Huebel)

"Go back in time and give your mother an abortion!" (Paul Scheer)

"Think you got what it takes? Well, take a shit on Mt. Rushmore and call me Jefferson, buddy" (Aziz Ansari as Suryat)

"I don't want you out there on the bully plane calling me up, saying 'hey, I gotta pull up my marshmallow pants and hit the boohoo button, 'cause I don't know where the cranberries are.' You know what I mean?" (Aziz Ansari as Suryat)

"You shut up when I'm eating. YOU SHUT UP!!!" (Rob Huebel)

"Everybody shut up! Shut up! I'm gonna do that thing where you tuck your penis in so it looks like a vagina! 'Oh look at me I'm a pretty girl! I'm a pretty girl! Oh touch my nipples cause I'm so pretty!'" (Paul Scheer as Randy Wattson)

"Nobody can defeat my light saber!" (Paul Scheer as Randy Wattson)

"I've decided that if you don't post that Tapes 'n Tapes mp3, I'm going to come back here tomorrow and give you a Colombian necktie." (Aziz Ansari as Clell Tickle)

"Tickle's right hand man is former Ultimate Fighting champion and convicted child arsonist, Hambone." (Rob Huebel as T.C. Everwood)

"Clell Tickle ripped my beard off! This isn't even a real beard, man! This thing's fake!" (Devendra Banhart)

"When you go home after this show I want you to blog about this band; I want you to post pictures. 'Cause if you don't, I'll fucking come to your house man and I'll kill your dog. And if you don't have a dog, I'll hurt the weakest member of your family!" (Aziz Ansari as Clell Tickle)

"If bands had cocks, this bands cock would be fucking huge!" (Aziz Ansari as Clell Tickle)