Human Giant quotes

"People say, 'Clell, Clell! You got blood on your hands!' Yeah, well I got gold records on my wall...And I got blood on my hands." (Aziz Ansari as Clell Tickle)

"There are over 1,200 different organs in the human body. Of these, the eye is not only the largest, but the number one sight giving organ." (Rob Huebel as Dr. Sanjay Gupta)

"Thanks for the coffee you piece of shit! You just got swindled!" (Aziz Ansari as Jimmy Norville)

"What John and Scott don't understand is that when you cover the human eye... like this... seeing becomes virtually impossible. And walking? Well, that's literally impossible." (Rob Huebel as Dr. Sanjay Gupta)

"You know, you can't get pregnant on the moon." (Rob Huebel as Cliff Tarpey)

"I'm the kind of astronaut that murders for sport." (Rob Huebel as Cliff Tarpey)

"I'm going to be all over this guy, just like the melted cheddar cheese all over this mesquite chicken with bacon sandwich" (Aziz Ansari as Cannonball)

"We are now the Weenie Kings." (Paul Scheer as Zerg, a character based on General Zod)

"You thought it was gonna be tastefully done? Well guess what? It tastefully didn't earn me no money!" (Bobby J)

"I've been arrested four times! One of those times was bullshit!" (Paul Scheer as G-Force)

"The Deluxe Clean Vacuum has been recalled because it has been diagnosed with hemophilia." (Narrator on Human Giant's Product Recalls)

"You say anything I will cut you" (Paul Scheer as a Genie)

"Federal penal system, you just got swindled' (Aziz Ansari as Jimmy Norville)

"The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay." (Aziz Ansari as a Rollerblader)

"Why would you say such things when you know I will kill you?" (Paul Scheer as Zerg)