Frank Underwood quotes from House of Cards

Raymond Tusk

Fact, I have something that you want. You have something that I want.

Raymond Tusk

Have I said something amusing?

Frank Underwood

I've sat too many times on your side of the table not to enjoy the irony of finding myself on this side of it.

Raymond Tusk

I'm must say, I'm surprised, Frank. You have a reputation for pragmatism.

Frank Underwood

And I've also avoided a reputation for indentured servitude.

Raymond Tusk

I never make an offer more than twice, Frank. Tell me now if I can count on your cooperation.

Frank Underwood

You're not offering cooperation, you are demanding tutelage. So let me make you a proposal. I am absolutely willing to work together as equals. I will take your opinions seriously, just as the president does. But I will not bind myself to them in advance. If that doesn't interest you, fair enough. Good luck finding a vice president in the next four days who will prove as pragmatic as I. You can't purchase loyalty, Raymond. Not the sort I have in mind. If you want to earn my loyalty, then you have to offer yours in return. And if we can agree to that - well, you're a man with imagination.

Frank Underwood

Was there something different about these ribs this morning?

Freddy Hayes

Better or worse?

Frank Underwood

I didn't think that they could get any better, but these were something special.

Freddy Hayes

Well, tried a new butcher. Slow-bleeds his hogs. It ain't legal, but...

Frank Underwood

Well, I won't tell anyone.

Freddy Hayes

I don't know if I'm gonna go back to him. Went out to his shop. He's got a room in the back where he does it. Soundproof. A whole setup.

Frank Underwood

Why soundproof?

Freddy Hayes

'Cause of how they scream. They can smell it comin'. You stick that pipe in their throat, next 10 minutes is hell. Bust your fucking eardrums. Now, the humane way to do it is to make it quick. Bring out a bucket of slop like it's feeding time, then bam, shovel right to the base of the head. No screamin'.

Frank Underwood

[Zoe meets Frank hiding in front of construction chain link fence on subway platform of Cathedral Heights D.C. Metro station] Have you thought about what we discussed?

Zoe Barnes

I think you're right. We should start with a clean slate.

Frank Underwood

What about our text messages? [she deletes it] And the contact? [she deletes it]

Zoe Barnes

Are we good?

Frank Underwood

Yeah. We can put all this other nonsense behind us, and trust one another and continue to help one another?

Zoe Barnes

I'd like that.

Frank Underwood

Consider the slate clean.

Zoe Barnes

Answer me one thing. The passenger seat. You said Russo was trying to get out. But there was nothing...

Frank Underwood

I thought we just agreed.

Zoe Barnes

I want to believe you, but I need details. More than what you're sharing.

Frank Underwood

What's your question?

Zoe Barnes

The night Russo fell off the wagon, he was at a fundraiser. The McNeely Cancer Institute...

Frank Underwood

All in the police report.

Zoe Barnes

Rachel Posner was at the hotel that night.

Frank Underwood

Who's that?

Zoe Barnes

The call girl who was with Russo when he was arrested.

Frank Underwood

I didn't know her name.

Zoe Barnes

She disappeared, Francis.

Frank Underwood

When?

Zoe Barnes

Don't act surprised. I showed the bellmen a photo. One of them remembers seeing her.

Frank Underwood

The girl is a prostitute. I'm sure she frequents many hotels.

Zoe Barnes

But that hotel on that night?

Frank Underwood

Now, you sound like Ms. Skorsky talking.

Zoe Barnes

I haven't discussed this with anyone. I wanted to ask you first.

Frank Underwood

I have no idea what happened that night except that Peter started drinking again. I don't know who was or wasn't there. I wish I was. Maybe I could have stopped him.

Zoe Barnes

Do you know where Rachel is?

Frank Underwood

Listen to what I am saying.

Zoe Barnes

I'm trying to protect us both. These are questions anyone could ask.

Frank Underwood

But no one is except you. I can't imagine what you're after.

Zoe Barnes

I took a chance, showed up at your house and placed myself at your feet. Crossed ethical lines, professionally, physically, and I hold myself accountable for that. Those were my choices and I can live with them. I'd like to move forward, but I need to know exactly what I was a part of, that that I wasn't a part of someone's-

Frank Underwood

Finish your thought.

Zoe Barnes

A part of someone's murder.

Frank Underwood

Jesus. [walks away and Zoe follows]

Zoe Barnes

I wanna believe you, Francis.

Frank Underwood

So, how does it feel to be married to the Vice President?

Claire Underwood

Exactly the same. Just louder.

You can pass the amendment. I'll just filibuster the main bill.

Frank Underwood

No, you won't.

Watch me.

Frank Underwood

As much as I'd like to see you hold your piss for two days, we struck a deal with Hector.

Frank Underwood

There are realities, Donald.

Donald Blythe

Don't talk down to me about realities. My wife is dying! That's a reality! Other people will die, too, if your package succeeds! That's a reality!

Why did you want this meeting? To attack me?

Frank Underwood

To send a message. The President of the United States and I are not his puppets. Now you tell him that.

Fine. The bridge deal is dead. There will be no saving it.

Frank Underwood

Stick a knife in its heart and put an apple in its mouth, I won't shed a tear.

Your President will ascribe the failure to you.

Frank Underwood

I'll take the risk.

Think strategically, Mr. Vice President. You're setting us on a very dangerous course.

Frank Underwood

Do you know how Grant defeated Lee? He had more men, that's all, and he was willing to let them die. It was butchery, not strategy, that won the war.

Mr. Tusk and I have great resources at our disposal.

Frank Underwood

Add up all your billions and you get the GDP of Slovakia. I have the federal government of the United States of America. Your money doesn't intimidate me. The most that you buy is influence, but I wield Constitutional authority.

The strongest army doesn't always win. Mao started out with only a few thousand men. They took over half a continent.

Frank Underwood

Mao is dead, and so is his China.

But I'm not.

Frank Underwood

Not yet.

Don't forget, your ancestor fought for the losing side. There is no sacred ground for the conquered.

Frank Underwood

I'm a good Christian, Remy, like your mother. I would tell you the truth if you wanted more.

You trying to send a message?

Frank Underwood

Perhaps.

Which is?

Frank Underwood

That stubbornness is far costlier than obedience.

Frank Underwood

Presidents who obsess over history obsess over their place in it, instead of forging it.

Who said that?

Frank Underwood

I did, just now.

Claire Underwood

What should we serve the Walkers?

Frank Underwood

Cyanide.

Claire Underwood

I'm saving that for dessert. What about a main course?

Frank Underwood

Please, let me help.

Freddy Hayes

I ain't takin' your guilt money. When I was bangin', we used to clear 60 Gs a month. I seen guys shot down execution-style. I didn't give a shit. Then I got caught. Darnell was born my first year in. Never saw him once, not even a picture. I can't take back the bad I done. All I can do is to make my own way, like I been doin'. You understand. Ain't pride, Frank.

Frank Underwood

If you change your mind, you let me know.

Freddy Hayes

You were a good customer, that's it. You ain't gotta pretend to be my friend.

Nobody walks away from something like this without bruises.

Frank Underwood

Well, bruises you can survive. I just don't know how we can avoid it at this point.

Claire Underwood

Are you unsatisfied?

Frank Underwood

There's just too much at stake now. No one we can trust. We don't have the freedom we once did.

Claire Underwood

Maybe it's better this way. No room for distractions. I don't mind the sacrifice.

Jackie Sharp

Mr. Vice President, what you are asking is just shy of treason.

Frank Underwood

Just shy, which is politics.