Frank Underwood quotes from House of Cards

Frank Underwood

[to Dunbar] I have only one thing to say: Go fuck yourself. [to the audience] Christ, that felt good.

Frank Underwood

It only takes ten seconds to crush a man's ambitions.

Frank Underwood

You know, there was a boy that lived down the street from me in Gaffney, about my age. His name was Walter Wryson. He used to run away from home all the time and come to our house. Not for any good reason. His daddy didn't beat him. He had clothes on his back. The Wrysons had way more money than we did, but run away he would, at least once a month and come straight to our place. Now, usually, my mother would call his mother and she'd come and fetch him. But about the ninth or tenth time this happened, Walter ran outside, climbed up into a tree in our backyard, and wouldn't come down for nothing. Now, my mama said to his mama, "Why don't you let us keep him for a while, until he feels like coming home?" But man, oh, man, that boy was stubborn. Night came, and he was still up there. No food, no water no toilet. And just before I went to bed, I looked out my window and I heard him crying. And I said, "Walter, why don't you come on down?" And he just shook his head no. Well, the next morning, I woke up, I looked out the window and Walter was still up in that tree. So after breakfast, I walked over with a plate of eggs and I asked him if he wanted some. And again, he just shook his head. And I got angry. That boy had a good house, a good family, the sort I would've killed for, and he didn't even realize it. So I went into the tool shed and I took out an ax. And I said to Walter "You want to know what it's really like to live at my house?" And I gave that tree a good whack. And Walter cried out, but I kept on. I mean, you've never heard screams like the one coming from Walter as I chopped at that tree. He pissed his pants, and it came raining down on the ground, but I didn't pay it no mind. I just kept whacking away. Well it didn't take long before Walter was on the ground and running back to his house. You see, all he needed was a little motivation. So I'll give Claire some time. But for her sake, I hope she comes out of her tree before I have to bring out my ax.

Frank Underwood

[of Claire] It's as though she never left. And that's what I'm afraid of.

Frank Underwood

[to Claire] When Walker and Vasquez betrayed us and pulled Secretary of State right out from under my feet, there was no room for doubt, and you've made me remember that. We took a path, a difficult one because there was no guarantee of where it would lead us. It took a steel goddamn stomach, and so has everything else we've had to do since. So don't worry about you and me now. Find your steel, Claire.

Frank Underwood

Imagine a duel, me and Conway. Now, Conway has a powerful gun: a search engine. And it's powerful because with it, he can tell what you think, what you want, where you are, and who you are. He can turn all those searches into votes, and that's enough bullets to kill my chances of winning. But I have an even bigger gun. It's called the NSA. It's one of the perks of being president – that is, if the courts allow my surveillance request. Imagine the men on these walls wished they had a gun like that available to them. Your phone, the phone of the person sitting next to you, your neighbor's phone and everyone you know and the 300 million Americans you don't know. I can see you, and I can use what I see to rig this election. Now of course, a weapon like that... well, you can imagine how risky it is. [gestures at a portrait of Richard Nixon] It might have even given pause to an old crook like him. I mean, they roasted him on the spit for tapping into a few rooms at the Watergate. I'm talking about tapping into every single home in America, and a weapon like that can blow up in my hand. And that's why it's Plan B. Plan A is much safer. Expose that Conway is using his gun illegally and remove the weapon from his hand. [looks at the portraits of Kennedy and Reagan] All three of us took bullets. [looks at the Reagan portrait] Well, I know why we're smiling; we survived.

Frank Underwood

Conscience has an unmistakable stink to it, sort of like raw onions and morning breath. But a lie stinks even more when it's coming from someone who isn't used to lying. It's more like rotten eggs and horse shit.

Frank Underwood

[Gestures towards the man waiting in the oval office, addressing the viewers] Senator Dean Austen of Ohio, the leadership's top choice for running mate. [Starts counting with fingers] Twelve years in Congress, helps us with a major swing state, middle of the road, very few enemies, and most important to them, long-time friend of the NRA [raises all five fingers one by one]. Now his shortcomings are [starts counting with fingers again]: he's another middle aged white guy, underwhelming, unimaginative, and a long-time friend of the NRA. [only middle finger remains] So you can see how I feel about the leadership's choice.

Frank Underwood

Do you know what separates politicians from the rest of the species? A politician is the one who would drown a litter of kittens for 10 minutes of prime time.

Frank Underwood

[after Conway takes a call in the bathroom] A fog of war. A backroom within a backroom. Whatever is being plotted in there, I can tell you it's no good for me. It's times like these that I wish I was Nixon - he had every nook and cranny bugged.

Frank Underwood

My fellow Americans. Over the past two years, certainly within the last several days and hours, I have asked myself what does it mean to be president. What does true leadership look like? It's a question many of you have asked yourselves as November approaches. Right now, as I sit in this chair in this office – where so many of my predecessors have steered our nation through turbulent times – I realize that this job is one that transcends politics and rhetoric. Entrusted to anyone who sits behind this desk is something far more elemental: the very survival of our nation. And I, as your president, must confront the storm before us. That storm is terror, more dangerous and unpredictable than any hurricane. It has endangered us abroad. It has endangered us at home. And right now, it has placed James Miller in the gravest of dangers. We attempted to communicate with his captors. We hoped for a peaceful solution. We're relieved that Caroline and Melissa Miller are safe and sound. But terror is blind to reason. Given the opportunity to renounce terror, Yousef Al Ahmadi chose to encourage it. So unfortunately, we must now move beyond reason. We must respond with force. Because there is no scenario in which we will release him. He will remain in United States custody until his dying breath. If the captors call again, we will not answer. The time for conversation is over, no matter the consequences. Regardless of whether James Miller is released or not, rescued or not, killed or not, ICO will be destroyed. We are at war. It will be a war more total than anything we have waged thus far in the fight against extremism. Soldiers will die. Civilians may die. There will be pain. There will be suffering. We will be confronted with the most horrific aspects of humanity. We will confront the inhuman – evil itself – but we will triumph. It is not a war we will lose. And if the worst happens to James Miller, we must remember to mourn is not to fear, to grieve is not to admit defeat. God bless America, and all of those who believe in freedom and democracy.

Frank Underwood

That's right. We don't submit to terror. We make the terror.

Frank Underwood

I want you to let the world know that if they want to continue to come here for our hospitals, our colleges, our golf courses and God knows what else, they're going to have to deliver more than my head on the end of a burning stick.

Frank Underwood

I don't need to get to the party just yet. Sweaty palms eager to pay me their last respects, when what they really want to do to show their respect is to empty their bullets in my body to make sure that I'm dead.

Frank Underwood

[after making a false concession to Conway] Oh, what, you think I learned nothing from Al Gore?