[recording] When he was 5 years old, I asked my son Steve what he wanted to be when he grew up. "I wanna be a cop, Dad, like you." I told him to be anything but that. The life of a cop is Is not easy. It's not that I'm not proud of the work that I did, but more than anything, I have, uh I have regrets. The toll that it took on my family, the way it hurt them. It's something I think about every day. Now, I'm I'm alone here. Losing my wife was almost unbearable. But giving up my kids, that just broke me. I'm proud of them, but they'd never know it. I've missed so much of their lives and watching them grow up and all. I guess that's the way it has to be. Till I figure this out.
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