Get Smart quotes

So, you're Mr Big?

At the moment, seven Coast Guard cutters are converging on us. Would you believe it?

I find that hard to believe.

Hmmm . . . Would you believe six?

I don't think so.

How about two cops in a rowboat?

No 99, the real credit belongs to these toys. After all, we had at our disposal every fiendish and destructive plaything ever devised for the pleasure of little children. Those poor devils, all they had were real guns and bullets."

(to Red Cloud): I'm sure if you listen what I have to say you'll change your mind about pressing that button...We've always had great respect for the noble red man. Let's think of the past. Remember when you roamed these great plains with your buffalo. And then came our settlers, and then our solders. Uh, maybe we'd better forget about the past. The present, that's what counts, the present. Let's look at the present. Look what we've given you in the present. These nice, tiny little reservations. Uh, let's talk about the future, Red Cloud. Now, if we take the promises of the past, and join them with the polices of the present, then there is only one thing left to say...….Let 'er rip, Red Cloud.

Why should we take the word of a vicious homicidal psychopathic killer like you?"

"Because I am a gentleman."

{after one of his agents and dogs have been killed by Smart in a trap): "No more Mr Nice Guy!"

Cant we rely on Smart's natural stupidity?

"We cannot depend on Smart's natural stupidity. We must help it along, add to it."

The old Professor Peter Peckinpah all purpose anti-personnel Peckinpah pocket pistol under the toupee trick.