We speak in the presence of the Drowned God. In his name, we gather today to choose a new king as our leader. Who makes a claim?
I am Yara Greyjoy, daughter of Balon Greyjoy, King of the Iron Islands. I claim the Salt Throne.
We never had a queen! Not once!
There are many things we've never done. We've never made our mark upon the world. The great lords of Westeros pay us no mind, until our little raids buzz through their kingdoms long enough to become a nuisance and they swat us down, they conquer us, humiliate us, and go right back to forgetting we exist. We are a sea people! Our god is a sea god. [The crowd cheers] When I am queen, we will build a fleet that...
You cannot be queen!
I am not finished!
Yes you are! A woman will not lead us, not when Balon's own male heir has returned!
[The crowd looks at Theon. Theon steps forward]
I am Theon Greyjoy, last living son of Balon Greyjoy. And she is your rightful ruler. Those of you that have sailed under her, and there are many of you here, you know what she is. She is a reaver, she is a warrior, she is ironborn! We will find no better leader! This is our queen.
[The crowd cheers, shouting "Yara! over and over]
I'm Euron Greyjoy! I claim the Salt Throne! Niece. Nephew. Little Theon. Heard you managed to fuck things right into the ground. Captured a castle you couldn't keep, got yourself taken prisoner...even heard you have no cock. Which explains why you would think a woman can be king.
When did you return, uncle?
A few days ago. I had some things to take care of. Long overdue.
I'm glad you're here. Now I know what my first act as queen will be: to execute the man who killed my father.
I did. I killed him. Threw him right over a rope bridge. I watched him fall. He was leading us nowhere and we would still be heading there if it weren't for me. No one loved him, no one wanted to follow him, he led us into two wars we couldn't win. I apologize to you all for not killing him years ago.
That would've been hard to do. You weren't here. Last I heard you were galavanting around the world having a grand ol' time.
Galavanting? Is that the sort of thing you start to say once your dick gets chopped off? Did the great lords of Westeros teach you words like that?
You were gone. Yara was here. Being ironborn, leading ironborn, getting ready to bring us back to glory.
And how will she do that?
I will build the largest fleet the world has ever seen.
Bright idea, except I'm the one who's going to build the Iron Fleet because I'm the one who knows how to use it. I've been all over the world, I've seen more of it than all of you combined, and across the sea, there is a person who hates the great lords of Westeros just as much as we do. Someone with a large army, three large dragons, and no husband. I'm going to build that fleet and I'm going to galavant right over and give it to Daenerys Targaryen, along with my big cock.
You're going to seduce the Dragon Queen?
I'm not going to seduce her. The Iron Fleet will seduce her. And together we're going to take the Seven Kingdoms. I wasn't born to be king. I paid the iron price. And here I stand.
[The crowd cheers, shouting "Euron" over and over]
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