[about the prospect of Loras marrying Cersei] Impossible
Why?
My grandson is the pride of Highgarden, the most desirable bachelor in the whole Seven Kingdoms! Your daughter...
Is rich, the most beautiful woman in the whole Seven Kingdoms, and the mother of the king.
Old.
Old?
Old. I'm something of an expert on the subject. Her change will be upon her before long. I'll spare you the details of what will happen then. You men may have a stomach for bloodshed and slaughter, but this is another matter entirely.
Oh, the years punish us as well, I promise you that. My stomach remains quite strong, however. The only thing that might turn it are details of your grandson's... nocturnal activities. Do you deny them?
Oh, not at all! A sword-swallower, through and through.
Well, a boy with his affliction should be grateful for the opportunity to marry the most beautiful woman in the Seven Kingdoms, and remove the stain from his name.
Did you grow up with boy cousins, Lord Tywin? Sons of your father's bannermen, squires, stableboys?
Of course...
And you... never...
[flatly] No.
Not once? Not in any way?
[visibly annoyed] Never.
I congratulate you on your restraint! But, it's a natural enough thing, two boys having a go at each other beneath the sheets.
Perhaps Highgarden has a high tolerance for unnatural behavior.
I wouldn't say that. True, we don't tie ourselves into knots over a discreet bit of buggery, but... brothers and sisters... where I come from, that stain would be very difficult to wash out.
I will not breathe further life into a malicious lie by discussing it.
Lie or not, you must admit that many people find it quite convincing. Convincing enough to put swords in their hands and send them off to kill Lannisters and Tyrells, thanks to our new affiliation.
I don't care what people believe, and neither do you.
As an authority on myself, I must disagree!
Now, if the rumors about my children were true, then Joffrey is no King at all and House Tyrell is throwing it's prize flower into the dirt.
And if Cersei is too old to give Loras children, we are throwing another "prize flower" into the dirt. It is a chance we simply cannot take!
The uncertainty makes you uncomfortable? All right, I'll remove it for you. If you refuse to marry Loras to Cersei, I will name him to the Kingsguard. And, I'm sure you're familiar with the Kingsguard's vows. He will never marry, he will never have children, the Tyrell name will fade and Highgarden will go to the children of Joffrey and Margaery.
You would have your grandson protected by someone who disgusts you?
I would have my grandson protected by a skilled warrior who takes his vows seriously. So shall I draw up the order or do you consent to this match?
It's a rare enough thing- a man who lives up to his reputation. [plucks the quill from Tywin's fingers and snaps it in half]
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