Jim Kearney quotes from Extended Family

Jim

Yes, I am.

Jim

You're early.

Jim

3, 2, 1. Ow! That was so stupid.

Jim

Nothing?!

Jim

Anything but Golden Girls.

Jim

Keep the change.

Jim

Oh, it'll still fit.

Jim

Nobody gasps just to gasp.

Jim

Sure. Have fun.

Jim

Okay, St. Patrick is up.

Jim

Please stand aside.

Jim

Julia, hey.

Julia

Jim. Are you here for Sunday brunch?

Jim

No, I'm here to see you.

Julia

What? How did you know I was here?

Jim

What do you mean, how? Duh.

Julia

Duh, what? What am I looking at?

Jim

Oh, family sharing. That blinking green dot, that's you.

Julia

You're tracking me?

Jim

No. No, I don't have to track you. You're sharing your location with me. I just have to look at my phone. Again, the blinking green dot...

Julia

I know what the blinking dot is, Jim. But tracking me is not the intended use of that application.

Jim

It's entirely the intended use of that application. You share your location with your family so your family knows your location.

Julia

You and I are now ex-family.

Jim

Tell that to your phone. You're the one who opted into the sharing.

Julia

When we were married.

Jim

And just like we opted out of that, you gotta opt out of this, but that's not important.

Julia

Yes, it is. As of this moment, I am opting out of the family tracking. I am opting. I am scrolling. I am searching. I am... God, where the hell is it?

Jim

Go to Settings.

Julia

I'm under Settings.

Jim

Okay. Take a deep breath.

Julia

Don't tell me how to breathe. There! I am no longer sharing my location. I am no longer a blinking dot. I am a no dot. I have disappeared.

Jim

I can still see you.

Julia

You can't just track me down in person anymore, Jim. We gotta reboot our boundaries conversation.

Jim

OK. I am sorry that I used the quite common, quite useful family-sharing feature that was invented so that when people are kidnapped, they can be rescued. But I guess you would rather don some magical cloak of invisibility so that you can vanish without a trace whenever somebody close to you needs you. Noted.

Jim

Well, what's the STN stand for?

Stab the neighbors.