Mrs. Patmore quotes from Downton Abbey

Daisy! What's happened to you? I said you could go for a drink of water, not a trip up the Nile!

[telling Daisy what to say to William at his deathbed] Just say nice, warm, comforting things. Make him feel loved. You don't have to be Shakespeare.

Nothing is as changeable as a young man's heart. Take hope--and warning--from that.

Daisy

Seems like a lot of food, when you think they're all in mourning.

Nothing makes you hungrier or more tired than grief. When my sister died, God rest her soul, I ate my way through four plates of sandwiches at one sitting and slept round the clock.

Daisy

Did it make you feel better?

Not much, but it passed the time.

Daisy

I was only trying to help.

Oh, Judas was only trying to help I suppose, when he brought the Roman soldiers to the Garden!

Oh my Lord, listen to that! It's like the cry of the banshee! [Branson walks in]

That's Mr. Carson's telephone ringing. [the phone rings again] Is someone going to answer it?

I wouldn't touch that thing with a ten foot pole!

Well, I will then.

Daisy?! What in God's name are you doing down here at this hour?

Daisy

I just wanted to check it were all right. That it hadn't, you know, caved in or anything.

Caved in? It's a cake, not a souflé.

Daisy

I know, but I've never made a wedding cake before.

Is that the one for tasting?

Daisy

Yes, Mrs. Patmore. [getting a piece off the shelf]

Well, bring it out, we'll give it a try. [after she and Daisy try a bite and both spit it out] What in God's name do you call this?

Daisy

I don't know. I did everything that you said. I promise.

Didn't you taste the mixture? [Daisy shakes her head] Well, then I'm afraid it's time to look at Thomas's ingredients. [walks over to counter and tries something and spits it out] Well, that's two thirds plaster dust. Where's the peel? [Daisy hands it to her] This were old when Adam were a boy. So, Thomas was happy to "let it go", was he? Well, it won't go anywhere near me in future. Chuck the whole bally lot out and we'll have to think again.

I like that Rudolph Valentino. He makes me shiver all over.

What a very disturbing thought.

I'm afraid that boy's interest in her may not be entirely proper.

Mr. Carson, all women need someone to show a bit of interest every now and then. Preferably in a manner that's not entirely proper.

Daisy

Why is it called a wireless when there are so many wires?

If I touch it, will I get a shock?

You'll only get a shock if you listen to it.

As for his so-called cowardice, that were like a wound in battle--a wound to his brain--so he didn't know what he was doing! He were a good and decent lad.

Of course he was.

Doesn't that make him a casualty of war, m'lord? Same as our William or any of them?

Mrs. Hughes

But why did you ask him?

Because he's a man, I suppose.

Mrs. Hughes

I'm not sure that's a good enough reason.

Nor am I, now. But I don't want to hurt his feelings.

Mrs. Hughes

I wish men worried about our feelings a quarter as much as we worry about theirs.

Do you know your problem?

Daisy

I bet I soon will.