“Robot of Sherwood” quotes from Doctor Who

Old-fashioned heroes only exist in old-fashioned storybooks, Clara.

What about you?

Me?

Yeah. You. You stop bad things happening every minute of every day. That sounds pretty heroic to me.

[modestly] Just passing the time.

You're not serious.

[amused] I'm many things, sir, but I'm never that. Robin Hood laughs in the face of all. Ha ha ha!

And do people ever punch you in the face when you do that?

Not as yet.

Lucky I'm here, then, isn't it?

Listen to me. It doesn't have to end like this. Shut it all down, return Clara to me and I'll do what I can.

I don't have Clara.

Robin's one of yours.

What did you say?

He's one of your tin-headed puppets, just like these brutes here.

Robin Hood is not one of mine.

Of course he is. He's a robot, created by your mechanical mates.

Why would they do that?

To pacify the locals, give them false hope. He's the opiate of the masses.

[scoffs] Why would we create an enemy to fight us? What sense would that make? That would be a terrible idea.

Yes! [frowns, considering this] Yes, it would… Wouldn't it? Yes, that would be a rubbish idea! Why would you do that? [stops] But he can't be… He's not real… He's a legend!

Too kind! And this legend does not come alone. (Clara pops up next to him and waves)

Hiya!

So, is it true, Doctor?

Is what true?

That in the future I am forgotten as a real man. I am but a legend.

I'm afraid it is.

Hmm… Good. History is a burden. Stories can make us fly.

I'm still having a little trouble believing yours, I'm afraid.

Is it so hard to credit? That a man born into wealth and privilege should find the plight of the oppressed and weak too much to bear--

Enough.

-- until one night he is moved to steal a TARDIS? Fly among the stars, fighting the good fight? Clara told me your stories.

[irritated] She should not have told you any of that.

[amused] Well, once the story started, she could hardly stop herself. You are her hero, I think.

I'm not a hero.

Well, neither am I. But if we both keep pretending to be — ha ha — perhaps others will be heroes in our name. Perhaps we will both be stories. And may those stories never end. [they shake hands] Goodbye, Doctor, Time Lord of Gallifrey.

Goodbye, Robin Hood, Earl of Loxley.

And remember, Doctor… I'm just as real as you are.