I think the worst part about it was that my mom didn't even seem to care. It was like she expected him to mess this thing up. Maybe that's why I got so mad.
So, you were mad?
Yeah. Yeah, I was.
At your mother or at him for not signing it?
At him. I can't be mad at him right now.
Sure you can. Wasn't your father mad at you? You told me he laid down the law, bought you a plane ticket.
Yeah, I gave it right back to him.
And you had reasons for that.
Well yeah, but he obviously had reasons for wanting me to go back to USC.
Yes, he did. And maybe he was wrong. If he were here and we could ask him, we would probably find out that all those reasons were more about him. His hopes, his expectations and just because he died doesn't mean that he gets to win the argument.
When I remember that night, all I feel is furious.
That's ok. That's how you feel.
So what do I do now?
What every 18 year old has to do, decide what to do with your own life.
What if I don't know?
That's fine too. Although, personally, I think you do know.
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