We trust that time is linear. That it proceeds eternally, uniformly. Into infinity. But the distinction between past, present and future is nothing but an illusion. Yesterday, today and tomorrow are not consecutive, they are connected in a never-ending circle. Everything is connected.
S1 E15Unfinished Business
[Mikkel performs a trick with cups]
Amazing! How did you do that?
Dad, the question isn't how, the question is when.
There is no such thing as magic, just illusion. Things only change when we change them. But you have to do it skillfully, in secret. Then it seems like magic.
What we know is a drop, what we don't know is an ocean.
My mother told me all about the old world, before the flood. She said it had been of a different kind: sinking. She would braid my hair and recount harrowing tales, stories of my father and of demons from the underworlds. She said all is forgiven but nothing forgotten. Then the darkness in her eyes was stronger than the light. And her words flowed like waves. She said all was well now the way it was. That all occupied its own space, in the past as in the here and now. When she spoke like this, something would come over her. She would pull hard on my braids, as if to punish me for something that dwelled in a place deep within her. Something that tugged at her from the center, like a hunger that could not be satisfied. She spoke of yesterday as though it were before her very eyes. As if today was but a veil that shrouded in shadow all that was real to her. The old world came to haunt her like a ghost that whispered to her in a dream, how to erect the new world, stone by stone. From then on, I knew that nothing changes. That all things remain as before. The spinning wheel turns, round and round in a circle. One fate tied to the next. A thread, red like blood, that cleaves together all our deeds. One cannot unravel the knots. But they can be severed. He severed ours, with the sharpest blade. Yet something remains behind that cannot be severed. An invisible bond. On many a night, he tugs at it. And then I wake with a start, knowing that nothing ceases to be. That all remains.
We all face the same end. Those above have long forgotten us. They do not judge us. In death I am all alone, and my only judge... is me.
But every decision for something is a decision against something else.
Most people are nothing but pawns on a chessboard. Led by an unknown hand. Their lives exist only to be sacrificed for a higher goal. Jonas, Mikkel, the children, they're nothing but unfortunate, yet necessary chess moves in an eternal war between good and evil.
Why would God want any of this?
Yes, why would God want any of this? After looking into hell, as you have, it can never be forgotten. It becomes a part of you. And the idea of God, of Jesus the Savior, becomes a thread of hope you cling to. All of us who know the darkness long for the light, but... there is no God. God didn't make this hole among us. God doesn't have a plan. There is no plan at all. There's nothing but chaos out there. Pain... and chaos.
If there is no God, then why do we believe in a lie?
Because we prefer any lie to the pain.
What are you doing here?
Bringing someone back from the dead.
How does that work?
It's very hard to explain.
[looking at the dead birds] Can you bring these back?
No, you have to find them when they're younger.
But then, they're not dead yet.
That doesn't change the fact that they will die.
You're crazy.
Maybe.
There was this sadness in his eyes. The kind you sometimes see in those who want to die, but life won't let them.
Your pain defines who you are, but it no longer holds power on you.
You could have saved Mikkel! Now I have another Grandma, and she's the principal of my school. Her husband, who's fucking my mom, is looking for his son, who's my father! A few days ago, I kissed my Aunt! And the crazy thing is... there's nothing wrong with any of them. They're okay. I'm what's wrong! I just want everything to go back to normal.
Why do we decide for one thing and against another? But does it matter whether the decision is based upon the consequence of a series of causal links? Or that instead it stems from an undefined feeling inside me? Perhaps everything in my life boils down to this one moment. That I’m part of this puzzle. One that I can neither understand nor influence.
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