[discussing Louisa Fenn's inviting Buttle out on a date] But do you want to go out with her?
She's female. She's breathing. I'm going through a non-picky phase.
S1 E4Chapter Four
JCJamal Crenshaw
These history books don't talk about Puerto Rico. Why is that?
Cause we have you to talk about it.
S1 E5Chapter Five
[on counseling freshmen on birth control] I started preaching abstinence. I'm telling you I felt the habit growing on my head as the words left my mouth.
I have four cheeks, Harry. Pick one and bite it.
Are you gonna say grace?
Yep. I'm going to thank God that I'm not you.
S1 E6Chapter Six
Lauren, you and I are a disaster.
I know.
As disasters go, it'd probably be one of the better ones.
[They kiss.]
I mean, it's really not a good idea.
I know.
[They kiss again.]
S1 E7Chapter Seven
You know, I doubt this is the first time that one teacher has kissed another.
Sstudent
No, it's just... You know, with you...
OSother student
You're usually kissing students.
S1 E8Chapter Eight
Last day of school before vacation. What's the word for it?
Halleluia.
Is this just about sex with you?
Honestly, no. I can see you as a potential ex-wife.
Kevin, you know me. I'm not an impulsive person. I pencil in trips to the bathroom on my day planner.
Harvey, are you all right?
Ooh, I think I'm gonna die. I feel so warm and fuzzy. What can do that to a person besides death?
[to Milton] I don't go to Harvard University. I go to Winslow High. I'm a senior.
S1 E9Chapter Nine
I wanna go dancing. Women have sex with men to go dancing.
Men go dancing with women to have sex and we've already done that. So why do we need to go dancing?
Mr. Senate, your class started ten minutes ago.
Excellent. Usually they wait 'til I get here.
Mr. Senate, is there anything you do not find humoring?
Your tie?
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