Blackadder, Prince George and others in “Unfinished Business”

[enters, accompanied by Pitt the Younger] Your Highness, Pitt the Younger.

Why, hello there, young shaver m'lad! Say, I have a shiny sixpence for the clever fellow who can tell which hand it's in. [Pitt doesn't respond] Oh, school, school. On half hols, is it? I bet you can't wait to get that bat back in your hand and give those balls a good walloping, eh?

Mister Pitt is the Prime Minister, sir.

Oh, go on! Is he? What, young Snotty here?

I'd rather have a runny nose than a runny brain.

Eh?

Excuse me, Mister Prime Minister, but we have some lovely jelly in the pantry - I don't know if you'd be interested at all.

Don't patronize me, you lower middle class yobbo. What flavour is it?

Blackcurrant.

EURGH!

I say, Blackadder, are you sure this is the PM? Seems like a bit of an oily tick to me. When I was at school, we used to line up four or five of his sort, make them bend over, and use them as a toast rack!

You don't surprise me, sir - I know your sort. Once, it was I who stood in the cold schoolroom, a hot crumpet burning my cheeks with shame. But since that day, I have been busy every hour God sends, working to become Prime Minister, and fight sloth and privilege wherever I find it!

I trust you weren't too busy to remove the crumpet.

You will regret this, gentlemen! You think you can thwart my plans to bankrupt the Prince by winning the Dunny-On-The-Wold by-election...but you will be thrashed! I intend to put my own brother up as a candidate against you.

And which Pitt would this be? Pitt the Toddler? Pitt the Embryo? Pitt the Glint in the Milkman's Eye?

Sirs, as I said to Chancellor Metternich at the Congress of Strasbourg, pooh to you with knobs on! We shall meet, sirs, on the hustings! [leaves]

I say, Blackadder, what a ghastly squit! He's not gonna win, is he?

No, sir, because, firstly, we shall be fighting this campaign on issues, not personalities. Secondly, we shall be the only fresh thing on the menu. And thirdly, of course, we'll cheat!