“This is the den.” – Blackadder

This is the den.

[disgusted] Oh dear!

But I have to tell you, Mr. Pants, that I've had an extremely encouraging nibble from another client, and I think you know me the sort of man not to ignore a nibble for long.

I smell some dry rot in the bedrooms, Timothy.

Well, Mrs. Pants, dry rot is as dry rot does. Stop me if I'm getting too technical.

And the floors are a bit uneven.

Yes, indeed, and at no extra cost.

Strange smell.

Yes, that's the servant. He'll be gone soon.

You've really worked out your banter, haven't you?

No, not really. This is a different thing; it's spontaneous and it's called wit.

What about the privies?

When the master craftsman who designed this home was looking at sewage, he said to himself, "Romeo", for 'twas his name, "Romeo, let's make 'em functional and comfortable."

Oh, well, that sounds nice, don't it, dear?

I'm glad we understand each other, sir. So, sold then. Drink?

[insistent] What about the privies?

Well, what we're talking about in 'privy' terms is the very latest in front-wall, fresh air orifices combined with a wide capacity gutter installation below.

You mean you crap out of the window?

Yes!

Well, in that case, we'll definitely take it! I can't stand those dirty indoor things.