“Tell me, young crone, is this Putney?” – Blackadder

Tell me, young crone, is this Putney?

[cackling] That it be! That it be!

[annoyed] "Yes, it is," not "That it be". And you don't have to talk in that stupid voice to me, I'm not a tourist! I seek information about a Wise Woman.

The Wise Woman? The Wise Woman?!

Yes. The Wise Woman.

Two things, my Lord, must ye know of the Wise Woman. First...she is a woman! And second...she is...

Wise?

[normal] You do know her, then?

No, just a wild stab in the dark - which, incidentally, is what you'll be getting if you don't start being a bit more helpful! Do you know where she lives?

'Course.

Where?

'Ere. Do you have an appointment?

No.

Oh...you can go in anyway.

Thank you, young crone. Here is a purse of monies... [she tries to grab it] which I'm not going to give to you. [walks in]

Hail, Edmund, Lord of Adders Black!

Hello.

Step no nearer, for already I see thy bloody purpose. Thou plottest, Blackadder. Thou wouldst be king and drown Middlesex in a butte of wine! [cackling]

No, it's far worse than that. I'm in love with my manservant.

Oh, well, I'd sleep with him if I were you.

What?

When I fancy people, I sleep with them. Oh, I have to drug them first, of course, being so old and warty.

But what about my position, my social life?

Very well. Three other paths are open to you. Three cunning plans to cure thy ailment.

Oh, good.

The first is simple - kill Bob!

Never!

Then try the second - kill yourself.

Mmm, and the third?

The third is to ensure that no one else ever knows.

Ah, that sounds more like it. How?

Kill everybody in the whole world! [cackling]

Uh-huh. [leaves]