Galactica-Cavil quotes from Battlestar Galactica (2003)

No one was supposed to be alive! Our people were supposed to be positioned to cause destruction, not to mop up afterwards! My Two was the Defense Minister's yoga instructor! If you can believe that. And one of the Sixes was a prostitute! But the only one in a position to do any frakking damage was a Five on this ship and he frakked it up! Now the universe still has these cockroaches in it. And we can't have any peace until we step on them all.

I'm telling you. She flew a Raider. Learned how to control it from the inside. Nobody taught her how. Kara Thrace plucked that knowledge from the stream...

I don't care if she plucked puppies from God's ass!

The plan is everything blows up a week ago. All humans are dead, we Cylons all download and the universe basks in justice. However...

Number Six

It didn't frakkin' happen.

One of your counterparts managed to get himself outed back on Ragnar Station.

I can't understand how he was discovered. I heard it was Dr. Baltar.

Well, no. I'm not talking about that, exactly. I'm talking about the fact that you're walking around this fleet wearing that jacket and, more importantly, that face. You're recognizable.

His jacket was burgundy. This is teal.

Number Six

You want a progress report? I'll give you a frakkin' progress report.

Oh, no. Please don't. Please don't.

Number Six

Oh, come on, it is spectacular. Doral blew himself up, causing minor damage to a minor hallway. And Boomer jettisoned the water, and then, she personally found loads more water. [Laughs] And then she shot Adama, but not very accurately, since she loved him. And then, Leoben, he got obsessed with Kara Thrace, and then was captured and airlocked. And my sister Six utterly failed to discredit Baltar and his dreamy hair and destroyed our frakkin' cover in the process. And now Simon...Simon killed himself, really killed himself, out of resurrection range, without blowing up the ship that he lived on because he couldn't imagine life without his little human wife and his little human daughter because he loves them...

Stop, stop, stop.

Number Six

Guess I'd better.

Yes. They're all letting me down.

Number Six

Why are they letting you down, One? What's the x-factor? [She takes the bottle] You can't declare war on love. [She leaves]

I think I already did. Hey, where'd the bottle go?

Baltar, he...he helped us so much on Caprica.

Are you attracted to this human?

No!

Because the other Six was addicted to him.

I am not addicted to him! Baltar is a brilliant man, yes, but you should have seen me. I was brutal with him, I pushed him!

You pushed him? My dear, if you pushed him you would have sent him through a wall! Oh look, an airlock. How handy.

Is there a Resurrection Ship within range?

Yes, brother. But first we're gonna die in a vacuum.

There's a 170 foot long launch tube in front of us. We might die of our injuries before we get to the vacuum.

I don't like you.

I understand that.

Do you really believe it was a mistake to attack the humans?

Rather intensly, yes.

You know that when we download amongst the others your strange ideas will be shouted down.

Ideas always seem strange until you try them on, brother. We had a temper-tantrum in the form of a cataclysm because we wanted them to treasure us, the Ones, more than humanity. More than their own history and blood.

We didn't want to be loved. We wanted to be treated fairly.

We wanted to be held to a bosom. To be petted and perfumed and told we were the princes of the universe.

Yes, well if the humans were gone-

Our parents would mourn them. They'd love them more anyway.

I'm going to see to it that you get boxed. And then I'm going to prepare to wipe out humanity once and for all.

The anticipation is very unpleasant.

Yes.