Edwin Jarvis quotes from Agent Carter

Edwin Jarvis

On occasion, wrangling Mr. Stark's animal preserve requires a ruthless hand. Not the flamingo. The koala. Its adorable appearance belies a vile temperament.

Peggy Carter

You're new to espionage, aren't you?

Edwin Jarvis

Far from it. Last summer, I caught the cook pocketing the good spoons.

Peggy Carter

Comfortable back there, Mr. Jarvis?

Edwin Jarvis

Perfectly, thank you. These racks of explosives have distracted me from the smell of stale milk.

Edwin Jarvis

Your line of work requires support. People who care about your well-being, who'll be there to stitch up your wounds.

Peggy Carter

If I allow people to get close to me, I'm putting them in danger.

Edwin Jarvis

So your solution is to remove yourself from the world you wish to protect? Where's the sense in that? There is not a man or woman, no matter how fit he or she may be, who is capable of carrying the entire world on their shoulders.

Peggy Carter

Steve was.

Edwin Jarvis

From what Mr. Stark has told me, Captain Rogers relied heavily on you for courage, strategy, and moral guidance. You were his support. Your desire to help others is noble. But I doubt you'll find much success unless you allow others to help you.

Edwin Jarvis

In polite society, one telephones ahead before trespassing.

Peggy Carter

I imagine strange women traipsing through the property isn't a completely unusual occurrence.

Edwin Jarvis

That's a fair point.

Jack Thompson

It's funny. A lot of stuff gets stolen from Howard Stark — cars, bombs, death rays.

Edwin Jarvis

Actually, the death ray's accounted for. It's in Nevada, I believe.

Edwin Jarvis

Mr. Stark believed the intruder had some advanced technological assistance.

Peggy Carter

Mr. Stark believes brushing your teeth requires advanced technological assistance.

Edwin Jarvis

You took her for granted.

Howard Stark

You can get her back.

Edwin Jarvis

Over the last five years, I thought I'd built up a callus apologizing for you. But this stings.

Edwin Jarvis

[about Stark] He can be thoughtless. Inconsiderate. Vain. Childish. Unreliable. Arrogant.

Peggy Carter

You flatter him.

Peggy Carter

You think Ginger Rogers is a Russian assassin?

Edwin Jarvis

You should have seen her eyes when I escorted her from Mr. Stark's villa. The darkest gates to the abyss.

Edwin Jarvis

I am truly sorry about all of this. When you didn't meet me, I knew and I panicked.

Peggy Carter

And I suppose the confession portrays me as what? A patsy? A Doe-eyed idiot succumbed to the charms of America's mustachioed Casanova?

Edwin Jarvis

That is the gist, yes. With a bankruptcy side plot sprinkled on top to provide a motive for Mr. Stark's deeds.

Peggy Carter

Nice flourish.

Edwin Jarvis

I'm sure we could lure one of them in, get the drop on them, steal a weapon and—

Peggy Carter

"Get the drop on them?" You've been in custody all of an hour, and you're Jimmy Cagney.

Peggy Carter

Um, Mr. Jarvis?

Edwin Jarvis

Yes?

Peggy Carter

I understand Howard came out west for a defense contract.

Edwin Jarvis

He did.

Peggy Carter

And you did say you came out here to arrange his estate.

Edwin Jarvis

I think I see where this is heading.

Peggy Carter

What I don't understand -

Edwin Jarvis

You're puzzled, perhaps.

Peggy Carter

Uh, puzzled, yes, that's the word.

Edwin Jarvis

It's the flamingo, isn't it?

Peggy Carter

It is, indeed, the flamingo.

Edwin Jarvis

Miss Carter, you have no idea how foreign Los Angeles will seem to a civilized person such as yourself. They eat avocados with everything. The foliage is preposterous. Take the palm tree. Would you trust the structural integrity of such a thing?

Peggy Carter

No, I suppose not.

Edwin Jarvis

They afford no shade. Everybody says it's a very dry heat, but that doesn't mean it isn't unbearably hot. And worst of all, the drivers are both abundant and abundantly irresponsible.

Peggy Carter

While I appreciate your concern, I am certain I can hazard the Los Angeles driving conditions.

Edwin Jarvis

Miss Carter, since our last adventure, my life has consisted of oiling floorboards, cleaning pools, - and - [Flamingo squawking] - transporting exotic livestock. I'm profoundly and exhaustively bored.

Peggy Carter

I'm not one for the cinema.

Edwin Jarvis

What do you do for relaxation? Assemble rifles?

Peggy Carter

I trust you to distract her with your flattery.

Edwin Jarvis

Aside from "Danger," my middle name is "Charm."