Your mother spoke to me.
What? That's great! She spoke? That's unbelievable!
She told me she wants you to put her in an institution. It's not great!
Why would my mom want that?
I think the reason she hasn't been talking is because she thought that not talking to you would drive you away or make you put her away.
I don't understand.
I think your mom blames herself for your suicide attempt and your father's death.
She said that?
She didn't have to. A couple years ago, a friend of mine died in a car accident. She was on her way to pick me up, and the next thing I knew, she was dead, and her sister was in the hospital. I was convinced that the accident was all my fault. I was so sure that the accident was all my fault, I couldn't even bring myself to go to her funeral. I kept thinking that if she hadn't been on her way to pick me up, she'd still be alive. I felt so guilty. To be honest, even today, I still feel a little guilty.
What are you getting at?
If my friend were alive, the one thing I would want her to hear from her is forgiveness. I would want her to tell me that it was not my fault. Maybe that's selfish, I don't know. And I know that my experience is nothing compared to what you and your mom have been through, but guilt is guilt, and guilt is a very powerful thing.
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