[to Matt] You look terrible.
It finally happened. Our son got rejected by a girl.
I can't believe it. Not my Matt! Why, you are the most handsomest guy on Earth, and if a girl doesn't like you, then something must be wrong with her.
Maybe your mom could call her.
You know, you two are really starting to sound like June and Ward Cleaver.
Really? Because up until now, you kind of reminded me of Wally. Wally never got rejected.
You know, none of this is like you, and I know why. I think your attitude is compliments of your new best friend Nicole.
Stop picking on my friend, okay? Because Nicole is here to stay, and in the future, stay out of my business. Especially my friend business.
I'm telling you there's something up with Nicole.
Look, I know no one wants to hear this, but I have to say something. Last night I saw Nicole in our bathroom cutting herself with a razor.
It makes no sense. I don't understand why Nicole would cut herself, why anyone would.
Well, a lot of girls do it. In fact, some experts believe that cutting or self-mutilation is the fastest growing problem with teenage girls outside of eating disorders.
If that's true, why haven't I heard of it?
No one talks about it much.
That maybe true with other people, but Nicole is my best friend. If she were doing this, I'd be the first to know.
There's a lot of shame that goes with cutting and Nicole wouldn't necessarily tell you or anyone else 'cause she's probably embarrassed that she does it.
Well, if she's embarrassed about it why doesn't she stop?
It's not that simple. See, sometimes when a person can't handle whatever emotional pain they're in, they cause physical pain to themselves. They'll take a razor or a knife or a pen and make little cuts that they can hide. And when you want to quit something like that, you have to find out what's causing the pain that's making you hurt yourself or you're never going to be able to stop doing the destructive behavior.
I'm sorry you have such a dunce for a daughter. I'm so stupid about biology and Nicole.
I never want to hear you call yourself stupid again. You're not. Biology is tough and nobody knew about Nicole, not even her parents at first. So no blaming yourself for that either. I can't go to biology with you but, uh, if you need a substitute best friend, I'm always here.