The Muppet Show quotes
172 total quotesKermit: That was great! And, you are just wonderful, Valerie! I tell you, you are going out on that stage a star, but you are gonna be coming back a chorus girl, right?
Kermit: Well, Piggy, sometimes, the truth hurts.
Miss Piggy: Hurt? I'll show you hurt, Kermie!
Miss Piggy: Hurt? I'll show you hurt, Kermie!
Kermit: Your salary is 20 a week.
Scooter: Could you make it 25?
Kermit: Are you kidding? I can't afford it!
Scooter: Gee, my uncle will be really disappointed.
Kermit: How about 30?
Scooter: Could you make it 25?
Kermit: Are you kidding? I can't afford it!
Scooter: Gee, my uncle will be really disappointed.
Kermit: How about 30?
Miss Piggy: [giving Ethel roses] Miss Merman, from all of us, to you.
Ethel: Oh, how kind of you, Miss Piggy...they won't explode, will they?
Ethel: Oh, how kind of you, Miss Piggy...they won't explode, will they?
Miss Piggy: Kermit, dear, did you know that every time we have a beautiful girl on this show, you forget about me?
Kermit: Yeah, well, we could have a seal act on this show, Piggy, and I might forget about you.
Kermit: Yeah, well, we could have a seal act on this show, Piggy, and I might forget about you.
Nurse Piggy: It's too late, Dr. Bob. We've lost him.
Doctor Bob: Well, he couldn't have gone so far. He was under the sheet just a second ago.
Doctor Bob: Well, he couldn't have gone so far. He was under the sheet just a second ago.
Robot Kermit: Hey, listen, how about you, and me getting together, and making some steam heat. Huh, snuggle bunny?
Miss Piggy: Snuggle bunnny? Why, uh...
Robot Kermit: Yeah. Look, let me take you away from all this. Ah, a marriage made in heaven! A frog and a pig. And we can have bouncing baby figs!
Miss Piggy: Snuggle bunnny? Why, uh...
Robot Kermit: Yeah. Look, let me take you away from all this. Ah, a marriage made in heaven! A frog and a pig. And we can have bouncing baby figs!
Rowlf the Dog: You think that's bad? For the first three months of my life there was a newspaper strike!
Sam the Eagle: If you are like me, and you certainly must be, you are appalled and shocked at the weird, unnatural things going on tonight.
Scooter: I � I was just in my star's dressing room, and I saw the most ghoulish, fiendish-looking face in the closet!
Hilda: That was me, clown! And I was hanging up the wardrobe.
Hilda: That was me, clown! And I was hanging up the wardrobe.
Statler: Hm. Do you think this show is educational?
Waldorf: Yes. It'll drive people to read books.
Waldorf: Yes. It'll drive people to read books.
Statler: Well, did you like the show?
Waldorf: No I didn't. No I didn't. No I didn't.
Waldorf: No I didn't. No I didn't. No I didn't.
Waldorf: Pay up, they made it through another one.
Statler: Double or nothing on next week's show?
Waldorf: You're on.
Statler: Double or nothing on next week's show?
Waldorf: You're on.
Waldorf: That's one of the reasons I always thought the Muppets are weird. They think explosions are funny. Explosions aren't funny.
[Statler's cigar explodes.]
Waldorf: ...although, some of them are really quite droll.
[Statler's cigar explodes.]
Waldorf: ...although, some of them are really quite droll.