The Muppet Show quotes

172 total quotes



All Seasons
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- I wonder why I'm so itchy.
- Maybe the show's starting to get under your skin!
- You know, they can improve the whole show if they just changed the ending.

- If you had a good mind, you wouldn't be here in the first place.
- That was wonderful!

- It sure was.
- You know something else?
- What?
- I hate sweet numbers!
- That number goes back a long way.

- It's called the medium sketch.
- The medium sketch?
- Yeah, it wasn't rare, and it certainly wasn't well done.
- Do you think there's life in outer space?

- It's either this show or indigestion. I hope it's indigestion.
- Why?
- It'll get better in a little while.
- [throws a rubber ring] Here, catch!

- Maybe Gonzo should quit while he's ahead.
- Gonzo should quit while he's alive!
- That song had a nice beat.

- Me too.
- Are we in the right theatre?
- Shakespeare would've hate that!

- Might as well. Certainly wouldn't call it a show.
- How do they do it?

- No thank you, I don't want to eat.
- I said beat! Why don't you turn up your hearing aid?
- There's going to be a raid? Let's get out of here!
- Hey, he just tried to drown us! What kind of act is that?

- Oh, yes. Someone must have told them that it's harder to hit a moving target.
- Do you think we'll be entertained tonight?

- Quiet! They might hear you!
- You know, this show really improves with age!

- Really?
- Yeah, I'm sitting on a tack.
- Just when you think this show is terrible, something wonderful happens.

- Said the men in the theater box...
- [both] Don't boogie in the barnyard!
- What was that about?

- South Dakota has nothing to do with this show.
- That's what I want. Nothing to do with this show!
(It is snowing in the theater. Statler and Waldorf are shiviering)

- Sure we liked it, if you promise it's your last one!
- Oh well, at least its over now