The Golden Girls quotes
465 total quotesDorothy: Well, if anybody's going to do it, it should be me.
Al Mullins: Why you?
Dorothy: Because I am the best under pressure.
Sophia: And she bears a striking resemblance to Barnaby Jones.
Al Mullins: Why you?
Dorothy: Because I am the best under pressure.
Sophia: And she bears a striking resemblance to Barnaby Jones.
Dorothy: Will you put that thing down. What do you think you're doing?
Rose: Well, I'm making a video for my class at the junior college.
Dorothy: Oh, really? Gee it sounds like fun.
Rose: Oh, I'm glad you think so, cause I want you to be one of the stars!
Dorothy:Oh, Rose, I don't think so! You know how uncomfortable I am in front of a camera. Besides I always come out looking like Fess Parker.
Rose: Don't worry. This is a documentary' it's okay if you're not good looking.
Rose: Well, I'm making a video for my class at the junior college.
Dorothy: Oh, really? Gee it sounds like fun.
Rose: Oh, I'm glad you think so, cause I want you to be one of the stars!
Dorothy:Oh, Rose, I don't think so! You know how uncomfortable I am in front of a camera. Besides I always come out looking like Fess Parker.
Rose: Don't worry. This is a documentary' it's okay if you're not good looking.
Dorothy: Won't you try to work it out? Do it for your favorite niece.
Angela: What's your cousin Graziella got to do with this?
Angela: What's your cousin Graziella got to do with this?
Dorothy:[hearing a bark from the bedrooms] What was that?
Blanche: Rose brought a dog home from the supermarket.
Dorothy: What, couldn't she just get stew meat like she usually does?
Blanche: Rose brought a dog home from the supermarket.
Dorothy: What, couldn't she just get stew meat like she usually does?
Frieda Claxton: [to Blanche] Oh yeah, I didn't recognize you with your clothes on.
Blanche: I beg your pardon?
Frieda Claxton: With my binoculars I have a terrific view of your bedroom window. I think some of the stuff you do is illegal. I'm looking into it.
Blanche: Why you miserable old... [Dorothy grabs Blanche as she lunges for Mrs. Claxton]
Dorothy: Now Blanche, let's try to get along. Mrs. Claxton, I don't know if you remember me, Dorothy Zbornak.
Frieda Claxton: Sure, I know you. You're the one with nothing going on in your bedroom.
Dorothy: Why you miserable old... [Blanche and Rose grab her as she lunges at Mrs. Claxton]
Blanche: I beg your pardon?
Frieda Claxton: With my binoculars I have a terrific view of your bedroom window. I think some of the stuff you do is illegal. I'm looking into it.
Blanche: Why you miserable old... [Dorothy grabs Blanche as she lunges for Mrs. Claxton]
Dorothy: Now Blanche, let's try to get along. Mrs. Claxton, I don't know if you remember me, Dorothy Zbornak.
Frieda Claxton: Sure, I know you. You're the one with nothing going on in your bedroom.
Dorothy: Why you miserable old... [Blanche and Rose grab her as she lunges at Mrs. Claxton]
Isaac: I was wondering where the party got to.
Dorothy: Isaac, this is the ladies' room! This is where ladies go to the bathroom.
Isaac: [looking at a large sofa that resembles a toilet] Whoa, how do you lift this baby up? I guess you have to stand back when you flush this thing.
Dorothy: Isaac, this is the ladies' room! This is where ladies go to the bathroom.
Isaac: [looking at a large sofa that resembles a toilet] Whoa, how do you lift this baby up? I guess you have to stand back when you flush this thing.
Michael: [caught in bed with Bridget] Grandma, this isn't what it looks like!
Sophia: Please! I'm eighty years old. I may not remember what it feels like, but I sure as hell remember what it looks like!
Sophia: Please! I'm eighty years old. I may not remember what it feels like, but I sure as hell remember what it looks like!
Mr. Allen: [Dorothy introduces him to her mother] Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Petrillo. What brings you to our humble home?
Sophia: Is he gay?
Dorothy: Uh, come on, honey, I'll walk you to the car.
Mr. Allen: Goodbye, Mrs. Petrillo. Sorry you didn't have an opportunity to experience our museum. I'd love for you to see my most prized acquisition - a magnificent pair of Gauguins.
Sophia: What are you, a pervert?!! I was married for 45 years, I never even saw my husband's gauguins!
Sophia: Is he gay?
Dorothy: Uh, come on, honey, I'll walk you to the car.
Mr. Allen: Goodbye, Mrs. Petrillo. Sorry you didn't have an opportunity to experience our museum. I'd love for you to see my most prized acquisition - a magnificent pair of Gauguins.
Sophia: What are you, a pervert?!! I was married for 45 years, I never even saw my husband's gauguins!
Mr. Ha Ha: Come on, kids. Make a wish and blow out the candles. [the kids and Dorothy blow out the candles] I hope everybody gets what they wished for.
Dorothy: Do you really, Mr. Ha Ha? [holds up the cake]
Mr. Ha Ha: Dorothy, if I were you, I would put the cake down. You see, Mr. Music's brother is Mr. Lawyer.
Dorothy: Do you really, Mr. Ha Ha? [holds up the cake]
Mr. Ha Ha: Dorothy, if I were you, I would put the cake down. You see, Mr. Music's brother is Mr. Lawyer.
Mr. Ha Ha: Well, it says here on my Ha Ha birthday list that Bobby is seven, Jeannie is nine, and Dorothy is...
Dorothy: I'll punch your heart out, Ha Ha!
Mr. Ha Ha: ...Dorothy is the oldest!
Dorothy: I'll punch your heart out, Ha Ha!
Mr. Ha Ha: ...Dorothy is the oldest!
Patrick: [auditioning Blanche for the play] Please reconsider, Josie. You're the prettiest girl in the county. I need to have your answer now. What's it gonna be?
Blanche: [throwing back her arms to embrace Patrick] I want you to TAKE ME, BIFF!
[The inflatable breasts Blanche is wearing under her shirt pop, and the sound of air leaking out of them is heard. Dorothy and Rose look on in shock.]
Patrick: I'm afraid I popped your bosom!
Blanche: Don't you worry 'bout a thing, Patrick. My backup pair can take a lot more punishment.
Blanche: [throwing back her arms to embrace Patrick] I want you to TAKE ME, BIFF!
[The inflatable breasts Blanche is wearing under her shirt pop, and the sound of air leaking out of them is heard. Dorothy and Rose look on in shock.]
Patrick: I'm afraid I popped your bosom!
Blanche: Don't you worry 'bout a thing, Patrick. My backup pair can take a lot more punishment.
Patrick: Now Rose, there's been something I've wanted to ask you all day...
Rose: [referring to her breasts] Mine are real!
Patrick: ...That's not what I wanted to ask you, but that is good to know.
Rose: [referring to her breasts] Mine are real!
Patrick: ...That's not what I wanted to ask you, but that is good to know.
Police Officer: Where are your roommates, Mrs. Petrillo?
Sophia: They're not here.
Dorothy: MA!!!!
Sophia: Don't "Ma" me, you cheap floozy!
Dorothy: Ma, you would do this to your own flesh and blood?!
Sophia: You'll get over it, Dorothy. And if you don't, who cares?! I'm on my way to see Burt Reynolds!
[Sophia walks out of the police station triumphantly clutching the tickets in her hand, while Rose, Blanche and Dorothy cry out to her from their cell]
Sophia: They're not here.
Dorothy: MA!!!!
Sophia: Don't "Ma" me, you cheap floozy!
Dorothy: Ma, you would do this to your own flesh and blood?!
Sophia: You'll get over it, Dorothy. And if you don't, who cares?! I'm on my way to see Burt Reynolds!
[Sophia walks out of the police station triumphantly clutching the tickets in her hand, while Rose, Blanche and Dorothy cry out to her from their cell]
Rick: [about having to share a bathroom with the girls] How do you think we feel having to gargle next to Grandma Moses and the Mosettes?
Rose: You, you, you rude person!
Dorothy: Go easy on him Rose.
Rose: You, you, you rude person!
Dorothy: Go easy on him Rose.