NCIS quotes

1049 total quotes



Gibbs: Commander Tanner's been gone for forty-seven hours.
Ziva: If he's not dead, he soon will be.
McGee: Maybe we can convince her to change her mind about the lawyer?
Ziva: Oh, I can convince her of far more than that.
Gibbs: How long?
Ziva: Not long.
Gibbs: McGee, you thirsty? Come on, I'll get you a cup of coffee.

Gibbs: Looks like they're putting decoder rings in cereal boxes again. [the team just stares at him] ...What?
Tony: Uh... little before our time, boss.

Gibbs: Okay, you want me to help fix this? Then get me that reporter's number.
Jen: You're going to apologize?
Gibbs: No, ask her to dinner.

Gibbs: Someone was dissected here, Duck?
Ducky: More like three someones.

Gibbs: While you're here, you will be an observer. Hand over all your weapons.
Ziva: You're kidding, right?
[Gibbs just looks at her. Ziva removes her sidearm and gives it to him.]
Gibbs: And your back-up.
Ziva: What back-up?
Gibbs: Left leg.
Ziva: Oh. That one. [removes ankle holster]
Gibbs: And the knife concealed at your waist. [Ziva removes the knife and hands it to him as well; Gibbs gives it back] That, you can keep. [quietly, in Ziva's ear] I just wanted you to know that I know.

Gibbs: Why didn't you come to me Abby?
Abby: Because Gibbs, I wanted him restrained. Not beaten to a pulp with a baseball bat.

Gibbs: Yeah, Ziva, Tony. What happened back there with the bomb... I want you both to know...
Tony: You don't have to say it, boss. We know how you feel about us.
Ziva: Gibbs, we're a team. That's what we do.
Gibbs: I was going to say, if either one of you two wingnuts ever disobey a direct order again, I'll kill you myself.
Tony: That's our boss.

Gibbs: [After listening to Abby describe a very complicated sequence of events that led to an explosion] Not an accident.
Abby: Not unless the angel of death is going through a Rube Goldberg stage.

Gibbs: Coordinate with Abby.
McGee: Boss, you're gonna have to try and get her out of the elevator first.
[Gibbs goes to the elevator, where Abby is sitting in the corner holding a stun gun]
Abby: Hey Gibbs. [elevator closes] Did you know that only 5 of the 2½ million deaths each year occur in elevators?

Gibbs: From now on, we're going to use phonetics like we did in the Corps.
Abby: Golf India Bravo Bravo Sierra?
Gibbs: What is it, Abs?
Abby: Can I please go back to my lab? I'm flipping out up here with nothing to do.
Gibbs: Okay, but don't leave the --
Abby: Don't leave the building. I know. Bravo Yankee Echo.

Gibbs: Nobody is going to hurt you, Abby.
Abby: You're just saying that to make me feel better.
Gibbs: Did it?
Abby: Yeah, can you say it again?
Gibbs: Nobody's gonna hurt you, Abs.

Gibbs: You first.
Tony: Ziva David, Mossad, she's here to stop you from whacking Ari. Yours?
Gibbs: Director Jenny Shepard, same mission.
Tony: Which agency?
Gibbs: Ours.
Tony: Yeah?

Gibbs: You know how I feel about coincidences, Abs.
Abby: Equatorial pygmies know how you feel about coincidences, Gibbs.

Jen: [Looking through two-way mirror at Sean Oliver sitting in the interrogation room] Do you think it would be inappropriate if, as director, I went in there and smacked that smile off her face?
Gibbs: Yeah, it would, but that's what you have me for.

Jen: [on the phone to Gibbs] Gibbs, where are you?
Gibbs: [opening Director's office door behind Jen] Right behind you.
Jen: I really hate it when you do that. [she hangs up]