Torchwood quotes

257 total quotes



All Seasons  Season 1  
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Gwen: [talking about getting married] It'll happen for you one day, Tosh. There's always Owen.
Tosh: I don't think so. "In sickness and in health, 'til death do us part". It's gonna sound like a bad joke.

Gwen: Oh, um, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I get a bit confused, which one's UNIT?
Jack: Intelligence. Millitary. Cute red caps. Acceptable face of intelligence gathering on aliens. We're more ad hoc, but better looking. [emphasis on "better looking" directed at Martha]

Gwen: She's going out with a frozen soldier from 1918.
Jack: Nobody's perfect.

Gwen: We're not postponing the wedding. No way.
Rhys: Forget the money, I want you where they can look after you, right? Getting married today doesn't matter.
Gwen: It matters to me!! It's not about the money, Rhys. I want to marry you! Today. Whatever happens. If the skies suddenly fills full of spaceships, or an army of Weevils climbs out of the drains on St. Mary's Street, you fool! Do you not understand what I'm saying, Rhys Williams? All I want to do today is marry you. That's all I want to do.

Gwen: What will you do while I'm gone?
Jack: Ooh, the usual. Pizza, Ianto, save the world a couple of times.

Ianto (trying to catch a pterodactyl): I've got a secret weapon. Chocolate. Preferably dark.

Ianto: 'Just us. In this room. As long as it takes.' Terrifying.
Jack: Really?
Ianto: [nods] Absolutely. Shivers down my spine.
Jack: You don't look scared.
Ianto: Well, it passed.
[Jack grunts in mock frustration]

Ianto: I have searched for the phrase "I shall walk the Earth and my hunger shall know no bounds," but I keep getting redirected to Weight Watchers

Ianto: Jack? Your V.I.P guest is here.
Gwen: I didn't know we were expecting anyone. [The rest of the team turn towards the entrance to the Hub]
[Jack runs towards the door to the hub as it opens revealing Martha Jones dressed in a suit with a bag over her arm]
Jack: On a dark night in Cardiff, I hear the song of a nightingale.

Ianto: Like a butler! I could be a butler!
Jack: We don't need a butler.
Ianto: Excuse me, dried egg on your collar!
Jack: It was a busy week!

Ianto: Pizza's arrived � thought it would be another late night.
Owen: What did you get?
Ianto: The usual. Meat feast.
Owen: Lovely.

Ianto: She knows more about this place than I do. [Slams fist] Nobody knows more than I do!

Ianto: We don't sniff the sub-etheric resonator!

Ianto: What exactly is your plan?
Jack: I'm gonna be the decoy.
Ianto: And it won't rip you to shreds?
Jack: Dinosaurs? Had them for breakfast. Had to. Only source of food protein after the asteroid crashed. Long story.

Ianto: I always loved Tintin.
Owen: Yeah, well you would, wouldn't you? And he never had a girlfriend, did he? Just the dog, so I reckon he was actually shagging the dog.
[Beat]
Gwen: Meanwhile, back at Torchwood...