Lisbon: I didn't know your wife was from this world, too.
Jane: Oh yeah. Her grandparents are carnie royalty. They ran big metal: Ferris wheels, ghost trains. They ran them all across the midwest. My wife, she didn't want to have any part of it.
Lisbon: Why?
Jane: Carnies are good people, but you're either with the show or you're not. There's nowhere in the middle, and if you're not with the show, you're a mark. You're a sucker. She didn't like that.

Lisbon: LaRoche is looking for you.
Jane: Well, tell him I wish him luck.

Lisbon: The brass and media are going to be all over this like suckerfish.
Jane: Well why don't we just give it to the FBI? They love that stuff.
Lisbon: Oh, I wish. It's too late. The new boss is here doing on-cameras. It's our baby.
Jane: The new boss? I thought Hightower was boss.
Lisbon: The boss of Hightower? The director of the entire division. I told you about it last week. Your memory's going.
Jane: My memory is a mighty fortress, Lisbon, from which no fact ever escapes once committed. Now when you tell me boring things, I set them free immediately. It saves overcrowding.

Lisbon: We really need to get you a bell.

Lisbon: We're with the CBI. What's going on here?
Deputy: [motions to couple on underside of a bridge] They were up there when we arrived. Gotta tell you, it looks like an attempted assault. He's going to reach her soon. We're going to have to shoot to stop him.
Jane: If you shoot him you'll have two victims. She just went up there to see about jumping. He's trying to save her. Can I use that? [takes bull horn from deputy] Uh, Betsy? If you're going to jump, make sure to dive. Head first.
Deputy: Hey!
Lisbon: Jane.
Jane: From that height you'll just shatter bones and suffer massive internal injuries. Make sure you dive. Head first.

Lisbon: What did you tell her?
Jane: I was complimenting her on her jacket. It's a vivid color.
Lisbon: Liar.
Jane: You're going to call me a liar?
Lisbon: Oh, I hate you. I do.

Lisbon: You're isolating yourself. You're pulling away from us, from me and the team. You are. You are and it's not good. What's going on?
Jane: Anybody that gets close to me, bad things happen to them.
Lisbon: A: That's not true, and B: Even if that were true, I'm a cop. It's our job to be in harm's way.
Jane: You're not listening to me.
Lisbon: We're family. What you're doing is a kind of betrayal, a surrender, a defeat. You're letting Red John win.
Jane: Oh, please. Please. Really? Okay, enough. No more pulling away. Give me a hug.
Lisbon: You don't mean it. I can tell.
Jane: What do you mean you can tell. You can't tell. I don't mean it, but you can't tell that I don't. You're guessing!
Lisbon: Yes, I can tell.
Jane: How?
Lisbon: I don't know. I can tell when you're lying now.
Jane: No you can't tell!
Lisbon: I can too!
Jane: That's nonsense. You're lying. Liar, liar, pants on fire.

Lisbon: You're looking a little creaky.
Jane: Yeah, a cattle prod will do that to you.
Lisbon: The doctor says there's no lasting effects.
Jane: Well, that doctor should try it himself sometime. [watches as Lisbon smiles] That was a big smile.
Lisbon: Of course I'm glad you're back. I'm also glad we solved one without you.
Jane: You were kidnapped and delivered to me. That counts as solving one?
Lisbon: Hightower and the team found us.
Jane: But if I hadn't held off Rachel, they would have found us dead in a burned out house.
Lisbon: Oh, you held off Rachel?
Jane: Yes.
Lisbon: Where's my apple?
Jane: Your what?
Lisbon: My apple. I asked you to get me an apple.
Jane: I come through the valley of death and all you can think about is your stomach. A piece of fruit.
Lisbon: That's right.
Jane: An apple.
Lisbon: Yes.
Jane: That's just plain selfish.
Lisbon: Selfish. Me: selfish.
Jane: Yes, it is. You're on my couch. I'm trying to have a cup of tea. Have you finished? You called me creaky. I've been cattle prodded all week. I just want to have a rest and a cup of tea and a little sleep.
Lisbon: [sigh] Oh, I wish I had a cattle prod.

Patrick Jane: Hello Lisbon. What a great day to not be blown up.
Teresa Lisbon: Give it up now.
Patrick Jane: What?
Teresa Lisbon: What you took from Bajoran's house.
[Jane looks blankly at Lisbon]
Teresa Lisbon: The toupee, Jane, the housekeeper called.
Patrick Jane: Oh.
[Jane throws Lisbon the toupee]
Teresa Lisbon: That's just gross! Why would you take it?
Patrick Jane: Evidence.
Teresa Lisbon: Of what?
Patrick Jane: Bad taste.

Patrick Jane: Ladies and gentlemen, quick announcement: I'd like you to give a very warm welcome to Walter's new girlfriend, number one - Teresa Lisbon.

Rigsby: Wait, there's one more thing: I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be at your wedding.
Van Pelt: Oh? [she sighs] That's too bad. You have something else planned for that day?
Rigsby: No, you see the problem is: I'm still in love with you.
Van Pelt: You can't --
Rigsby: Hold on. I'm not trying to win you back. You're marrying a good man. That's not gonna change. But neither am I. This whole thing where we pretend we're just friends, it doesn't work. I don't know what will work. But I know one thing: I can't watch you marry another man. You have a good day and a good life.

Teresa Lisbon: What about you, Walter? Last year you said you'd do anything for a thrill.
Walter Mashburn: What do you have in mind?
[Shots are fired at them]
Teresa Lisbon: Get down!
Patrick Jane: Thrilling enough for you, Walter?

Todd: Rest assured, I won't be pulling any vigilante nonsense.
Lisbon: I'm very sorry for your loss, and I'm glad you see it that way. There's no upside to taking the law into your own hands. Revenge truly doesn't work.
Jane: Well that's just a sweeping statement, isn't it? I'm sure we can all think of examples where revenge has worked splendidly.
Lisbon: Thanks for your input.
Jane: Just saying.

Van Pelt: I lied this morning. I do care that you're seeing someone else. It hurts a little. I mean, it's no biggie. I'll get over it. I want us to be friends. We can get to that point, right? Can't we be just friends?
Rigsby: Yeah, sure we can.
Van Pelt: Good. I'd like that.

Walter Mashburn: But if it was him, wouldn't he have hired better assassins?
Teresa Lisbon: Okay, is there anybody else who might want to kill you?
Walter Mashburn: I have lots of enemies, Teresa. You know, you'd be surprised to hear this, but some people find me annoying.