Mr. Show quotes
217 total quotesProfessor Murder (Sam Sarpong): What?! I ain't no Professor Pickles!
Pickles, the ventriloquism dummy (Bob): Yeah, don't mess with the East Coast!
Professor Murder (Sam Sarpong): Look, I don't need you defending me, you Howdy-Doody-lookin' motherfucker. I'm outta here!
Pickles, the ventriloquism dummy (Bob): Yeah, I'm with him!
Professor Murder (Sam Sarpong): Man, step off!
Pickles, the ventriloquism dummy (Bob): Yeah, don't mess with the East Coast!
Professor Murder (Sam Sarpong): Look, I don't need you defending me, you Howdy-Doody-lookin' motherfucker. I'm outta here!
Pickles, the ventriloquism dummy (Bob): Yeah, I'm with him!
Professor Murder (Sam Sarpong): Man, step off!
"Grass Valley" Greg Sniper (David): Goats are the only animals with an innate sense of democracy. That's why they're called "Nature's President".
"Last Indian" piece narrator (Tom Kenny): I fuckin' saw God, Jack. And I laughed in his fuckin' face!
"Grass Valley" Greg Sniper (David): Where ideas can hang out - and do whatever!
Reverend Winton Dupree (Bob): I have a question, and I know you all have it, too: What is up Satan's ass?! All he wants to do is fuck us up, the dick-licker! Now the Lord said, "I am the light of the world." Now, He could as easily have said, "I am King Shit of Fuck Mountain. Why would you fuck with Me?!" Now, I'll tell you what. I am the only preacher with the fuckin' balls, and you know this, you all know this, to say, "Satan I damn thee! You goddamm motherfuckin', shit-eatin', cock-suckin', son of a B!" Can I get a fuckin' A?
Guy in Ding Dong Burgers commercial during Pit-Pat sketch (David): Fuck, this little motherfucker's tasty!!
"The Limits of Science" educational film narrator (Bob): All facts start as dreams dreamt by a wizard.
"Go-to" guy (Jay Johnston): Hey mom, could you pass the gravy?
"Go-to" guy's mom (unknown): That wasn't part of the deal!
"Go-to" guy's mom (unknown): That wasn't part of the deal!
"Coupon: The Movie" trial witness (Paul F. Tompkins): It was a baaaaabyyyyyyy!!!
"Grass Valley" Greg Sniper (David): Nuh uh, I'm not talking rain clouds on a sunny day.
"All American Salute to the Last Indian" co-host (Paul F. Tompkins): The rap group, The Fuck-ups.