Married... with Children quotes
396 total quotesAll Seasons Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Season 4
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Season 11
Hans: Cherry cheesecake for Herr Bundy.
Kelly: Well. I'm a Bundy and I have hair... okay.
Hans: I wanted to meet the man who loved my cheesecake so much.
Kelly: Bye! [slams the door in his face]
Kelly: Well. I'm a Bundy and I have hair... okay.
Hans: I wanted to meet the man who loved my cheesecake so much.
Kelly: Bye! [slams the door in his face]
Jefferson: I saw a woman come over here. Are one of you my wife? [notices a distressed Marcy, a pleased Peggy and bored Kelly and decides on Kelly) Come on sweetheart, let's go back to bed.
Kelly: Bye, Daddy.
Peg: No, no, no, no. You've made a mistake. I'm your wife. [releases Kelly and takes Jefferson's hand] Now we can go back to bed.
Marcy: Oh shut up. It's me, it's me.
Kelly: Bye, Daddy.
Peg: No, no, no, no. You've made a mistake. I'm your wife. [releases Kelly and takes Jefferson's hand] Now we can go back to bed.
Marcy: Oh shut up. It's me, it's me.
Marcy: When you came over to borrow the salt and we said "Take whatever you want," you might have misunderstood. Which brings me to our flatware.
Al: I didn't steal your bra.
Al: I didn't steal your bra.
Peg: [reads test questions from a magazine to Al] Who would you rather spend the night with? A, your wife, or B...
Al: B!
Al: B!
Peg: [to Al] Are you enjoying your day off?
Al: Peg, you know I am. Now, how are you gonna ruin it for me? Sex? Chores? What?
Al: Peg, you know I am. Now, how are you gonna ruin it for me? Sex? Chores? What?
Peg: Al, our baby's gone. Hold me.
Al: I didn't hold you when we conceived her. Why should I start now?
Al: I didn't hold you when we conceived her. Why should I start now?
Peg: And then of course there's that ten months of pregnancy.
Marcy: Ten?
Peg: Male Bundys never wanna come out. Oh, and then once they're out, they never wanna go back in again.
Marcy: Ten?
Peg: Male Bundys never wanna come out. Oh, and then once they're out, they never wanna go back in again.
Peg: I'm not cooking tonight, you know.
Al: Uh-oh. Then I guess I just have to live on love.
Peg: Not with me. I'm on strike.
Al: Oh, no. Then I guess I just have to live.
Al: Uh-oh. Then I guess I just have to live on love.
Peg: Not with me. I'm on strike.
Al: Oh, no. Then I guess I just have to live.
Peg: Listen, Al. You suffered a head injury today. You're probably seriously hurt and require immediate medical attention. Now go to sleep.
Peg: Oh, Al, the rubes think I'm sexy.
Al: Yeah, I would too, Peg, if I drank whiskey for breakfast.
Al: Yeah, I would too, Peg, if I drank whiskey for breakfast.
Peg: So, are you really sick? You're not trying to get out of going to see my mother.
Al: Now, Peg. That hurts. You know how much I love that huge fat woman.
Al: Now, Peg. That hurts. You know how much I love that huge fat woman.
Peg: Well, at least it's over.
Al: Oh, it's not over. [opens the door, revealing the police] Now it's over!
Al: Oh, it's not over. [opens the door, revealing the police] Now it's over!
Peg: Where are you going?
Al: Where do you think I'm going?
Peg: To the "Mr. Pudding Belly" tryouts?
Al: Where do you think I'm going?
Peg: To the "Mr. Pudding Belly" tryouts?