Jersey Shore · Season 3
[On Sammi] Bitch, I will smack that fucking grin right off your face, seriously! She's laughing at me.
She's not laughing at you.
[Sammi laughs in background]
She is.
No, she's not.
I definitely am!
Even though we're tiny bitches, I don't give a sh-t...I will fuckin' attack you like a squirrel monkey.
I have Vinny in the house now, maybe I don't need the vibrator. We'll see...
Snooki walks in the door with this Gremlin look-a-like and she says she's the new roommate.
[on Ronnie and Sammi] I hope they get a fuckin' incurable disease living up there.
Honestly, like who hides in a bush? Only me. I will pee in a bush, I will poop in a bush, and I will hide in a bush. I do fucked up shit, I don't even know what's wrong with me.
Oh my god, this girl at the club is beyond the word stalker. She is a parasite and I am the host.
This is the first night that we're going out to a club. Fuckin' Ron and Sam aren't coming out, SHOCKER...shocker. So what are they gonna do? They're gonna look at each other's eyes and say "I love you, baby," all night? We're in fuckin' Seaside, bitch! Let's go to fuckin' Karma.
I got juice all over me!
That's what she said.
I personally like fake boobs.
You like 'em like you like your girl's eyes, cockeyed.
Old people, they lose their sex life and that's not a fun time. That's why people always get divorced.
[at work] If I wanna have a beer, I'm allowed to have a beer. This isn't like Law School, this is a T-Shirt Shop.
Deena calls herself The Holiday and I like to call her the Holiday Inn, so 6 minutes and 53 seconds into Karma, the Holiday Inn closed early tonight.
I need a mind condom because I'm being mind fucked.
It's like having chicken put on the table with salt and pepper, then somebody takes away the chicken and then you're left with salt and pepper.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jersey Shore pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
