Santana: [angrily yelling at Rachel and being held back] Escucha! Soy de Lima Heights Adjacents y yo tengo orgullo!. Sabes lo que pasa en Lima Heights Adjacents? Cosas Malas! (English translation: I'm from Lima Heights Adjacent and I'm proud! Do you know what goes down in Lima Heights Adjacent? Bad things!)
Flashback ends:

Santana: The truth about what?
Karofsky: None of your business, J Lo.
Santana: First of all, anything you do became my business when you decided to toss that slushie up in my grill.
Karofsky: I think I can take a couple of queers and a girl.
Santana: Ha. See here's whats gonna go down. Two choices: You stay here and I crack one of your nuts--right or left, that's your choice. Or you walk away and live to be a douchebag another day. Oh, and also, I have razor blades hidden in my hair. [gestures to her hair] Yeah, just all up in here.
Karofsky: [reluctantly walks away]
Blaine: We could have handled that.
Santana: It was more fun doing it together.

Santana: You did this to me! You told Coach Sylvester about my summer surgery!
Quinn: You have surgery when you get your appendix out. You got a BOOB JOB.
Santana: Yup. Sure did. [slaps Quinn across face]
Quinn: You can't hit me!
Santana: Oh, sure I can. Unless you got yourself knocked up again. Slut.
[Quinn slams Santana against a locker]

Santana: Hold up, could we all just get real here for a second? I hear that Rachel has a bit of a schnoz. I mean I wouldn't know because like Medusa I try to avoid eye contact with her. But can we all just stop lying about how there aren't things we don't want to change about ourselves? I'm sure that Sam has been at the doctor's office and riffled through pamphlets on mouth reductions. I'll bet Artie's thought about getting his legs removed since he's not really using them anyway. And I'm definitely sure Tina has looked into eye de-slanting.
Tina: That's extraordinarily racist.
Santana: Just keeping it real.
Tina: Sorry Santana, I'm a beautiful person. I'm in love with myself and I would never change a thing.
Mike: Is that why you're wearing blue contacts today, Tina? [whispers] Self hating Asian.
Tina: Not too many Asian sex symbols, Mike. I'm just trying to mirror what I see in magazines.
Finn: My dancing kind of bothers me. It almost killed Rachel but I like the way I look.
Santana: Oh please. You have weird puffy pyramid nipples.
Sam: [tries to look at Finn's nipples]
Finn: [slaps Sam's hand away]
Santana: They look like they're filled with custard. Or you could dust them off with powdered sugar and pass it off as some sort of dessert. Look, maybe Rachel is fine with having an enormous beak. Maybe she needs it to crack hard seeds. All I'm saying is if you look in the mirror and you don't like what you see, you should change it.

Santana: [walks to Brittany] Hi.
Brittany: Hi.
Santana: Can we talk?
Brittany: But we never do that.
Santana: I know but, um, I wanted to thank you for performing that song with me in Glee club.
Brittany: Yeah.
Santana: 'Cause it's made me do a lot of thinking. What I realize is why I'm such a bitch all the time. I'm a bitch because I'm angry. I'm angry because I have all of these feelings, feelings for you, that I'm afraid of dealing with...because I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences. And Brittany, I can't go to an Indigo Girls concert. I just can't.
Brittany: I understand that.
Santana: Do you understand what I'm trying to say here?
Brittany: Not really.
Santana: I want to be with you. But I'm afraid of the talks and the looks. I mean, you know what happened to Kurt at this school.
Brittany: Yeah, but honey...if anyone were to ever make fun of you, you would either kick their ass or slash them with your vicious, vicious words.
Santana: [sniffles and begins to cry] Yeah, I know. But...I'm so afraid of what everyone will say behind my back. Still, I have to accept...that I love you. I love you. And I don't want to be with Sam, or Finn, or any of those other guys. I just want you. Please say you love me back. Please...
Brittany: Of course I love you. I do. And I would totally be with you if it weren't for Artie.
Santana: Artie?
Brittany: I love him too. I don't want to hurt him. That's not right. I can't break up with him.
Santana: Yes, you can. He's just a stupid boy.
Brittany: But it wouldn't be right. Santana, you have to know if Artie and I were to ever break up, and I'm lucky enough that you're still single... [tries to touch Santana's arm]
Santana: [pulls her arm away] Don't.
Brittany: I am so yours. Proudly so.
Santana: Yeah, wow. Whoever thought that being fluid meant that you could be so stuck?
Brittany: Don't. I'm sorry -- [tries to hug Santana]
Santana: [pushes her away] Get off me. [leaves]

Artie: I brought some Bloody Marys, y'all.
Mercedes: Are you kidding? The last thing I want to do is drink.
Artie: It will help with your hangover. That's what Bloody Marys are for. Hair of the dog that done bit your ass.

Rachel: Hey! Look I need your advice, alright, about, about an adult problem.
Quinn: Holy Crap! Are you pregnant?
Rachel: No! Look I'm coming to you as a friend and, oddly because I also think you are the only person that will give me just a straightforward and a thoughtful answer about this.
Quinn: You're right, I'm sorry. Yes, I can keep a secret.
Rachel: Finn, asked me to marry him.
Quinn: [gasps] Well, what did you say?
Rachel: I said I needed to think about it.
Quinn: Well, you can't.
Rachel: Why? Plenty of people get married our age and I know he and I haven't lived together or anything but I love him and he's the one. I know it. [Quinn hands her a folded piece of paper] What's this? [opens it and reads it]
Quinn: My ticket out of here. I got into Yale, early admissions. Turns out my essay about overcoming adversity while maintaining a straight A average during a teen pregnancy really turned on the admissions boards.
Rachel: Quinn, that's amazing. [hugs Quinn] That's so great. [lets go] It's great.
Quinn: I'm sure you'll get your NYADA one soon.
Rachel: Oh. Yeah. I mean, New York mail is notoriously slow, so��
Quinn: My point being is that I've dated Finn, Puck, Sam, even thought I loved some of them. But by the time the snow falls in New Haven next winter, I won't know why.
Rachel: So are are you saying that Finn and I should break up?
Quinn: I'm all for making the most of the next few months, but I'd hate the idea of dragging an anchor from my past into the bright lights of my future. Rachel, you have an amazing life ahead of you. As hard as it may be if you want what you ever dreamed of, you're gonna have to break up with him.
Rachel: That's an awful thing to say.
Quinn: Look, you wanted straight and thoughtful. I guess at one point it made sense to love somebody for your whole life, but it doesn't anymore. Women are finding themselves in their thirties now, every magazine says it. We hardly know what we're going to want in fifteen years.
Rachel: But Finn and I��we can grow together.
Quinn: Look Rachel, I��you and Finn are a lovely couple. But if you really want to be happy, you're going to have to say goodbye.

Santana: I just heard the news that Trouty Mouth is back in town. I've been keeping a notebook, just in case this day ever came. Welcome back, Lisa Rinna. I've missed you so much since your family has pack their bags, loaded them into your mouth and skipped town. Can't tell you how many times I've wanted to enjoy a crisp pickle but couldn't find anyone to suck the lid off the jar. I assume you've been working as a baby polisher where young mothers place their infants' heads in your mouth to get back that newborn shine. So glad you're back. I haven't seen a smile that big since a clyamation abominable snowman got his teeth pulled by that little gay elf dentist. Love, Santana.
Sam: [smiles] I missed you too, Santana. [hugs her]

Finn: I don't wanna have to worry about that kind of stuff in my own room, man!
Kurt: And what "stuff" are you referring to?
Finn: You know what I'm talking about. Don't play dumb. Well, can't you just accept that I'm not like you?
Kurt: I have accepted that.
Finn: No, you haven't. You think I don't see the way you stare at me, how flirty you get? You think I don't know why yow got so excited that we were gonna be moving in together?
Kurt: It's just a room, Finn! We can redecorate if you want to!
Finn: Okay, good. Well then the first thing that needs to go is that faggy lamp. And then we need to get rid of this faggy couch cover��
Burt: (coming downstairs) Hey! What did you just call him?
Finn: Oh, no, no, I didn't call him anything. I was just talking to the blanket.
Burt: If you use that word, you're talking about him.
Kurt: Relax, Dad. I didn't take it that way.
Burt: Yeah, that's because you're 16 and you still assume the best in people. You live a few years, you start seeing the hate in people's hearts. Even the best people. (to Finn) You use the "N" word?
Finn: Of course not.
Burt: How about "retard"? You call that nice girl in Cheerios with Kurt, you call her a retard?
Finn: Becky-no. She's my friend, she's got Down syndrome. I'd never call her that. That's cruel.
Burt: But you think it's okay to come into my house and say "faggy"?
Finn: That's not what I meant.
Burt: I know what you meant! What, you think I didn't use that word when I was your age? You know, some kid gets clocked in practice, we'd tell him to stop being such a fag. Shake it off. We meant it exactly the way you meant it. That being gay is wrong. That it's some kind of punishable offense. I really thought you were different, Finn. You know, I thought that being in Glee Club and being raised by your mom meant that you were some, you know, new generation of dude who saw things differently. Who just kind of, you know, came into the world knowing what has taken me years of struggling to figure out. I guess I was wrong. I'm sorry Finn, but you can't - you can't stay here.
Kurt: (softly) Dad!
Burt: I love your mom and maybe this is gonna cost me her. But my family comes first. I can't have that kind of poison around here. (to Kurt) This is our home, Kurt. (to Finn) He is my son. Out in the world, you do what you want; not under my roof.

Artie: I think I might be better at brushing and flossing if I could see myself in the mirror.
Santana: There you go, blue tooth.
Brittany: I don't brush my teeth. I rinse my mouth out with soda after I eat. I was pretty sure Dr Pepper was a dentist.

Artie: Hey girl!
Tina: [stops short and turns Artie's wheelchair around to face her]: My eyes? Are up here! I am a person with feelings! Get out of my grill! I am a powerful woman, and my growing feminism will cut you in half like a righteous blade of equality! [stomps away]

Mr. Fabray: You [points to Finn] Get out of my house.
Quinn: Daddy ... can't we talk about this? Finn is a good guy...he loves me.
Mr. Fabray: You, too.
Finn: What? You can't do that; she didn't do anything wrong! Please, Mrs. Fabray��
Quinn: Don't bother, Finn. If she wanted to do something, she would've done when she found out that I was pregnant.
Mr. Fabray: You knew?
Mrs. Fabray: I ... no, she didn't tell me anything.
Quinn: But you knew. And I needed you. I needed my mom! And you were so scared about what he would do, if he found out that I was pregnant. So you just pushed it aside, like we do with every other bad feeling in this house. If you don't talk about it, it doesn't exist...
Mr. Fabray: No, do not turn this on us! You are the disappointment here!
Quinn: Why? Because I'm not a little girl anymore? Because I made a mistake?
Mr. Fabray: Who are you? I don't recognize you at all.
Quinn: I'm your daughter who loves you. And I know this must be really hard for you, but I just need my daddy to hold me, and tell me it's gonna be okay.

Kurt: I don't like you.
Sebastian: Fun. I don't like you either.
Kurt: I don't like the way you talk to my boyfriend, I don't like your smirky little meerkat face, I don't like your obnoxious CW hair. I'm on to you.
Sebastian: Let's get a few things straight, Blaine's too good for you, New Directions is a joke, and one of us has a hard luck case of the 'Gay Face' and it ain't me. Odds are by the end of the school year, i'll have Blaine and a Nationals trophy, and you'll have khakis and a Lima Bean apron and that gay face.
Kurt: You smell like Craigslist.

Artie: [About Tina] She dumped me for Mike Chang. They fell in love over the summer at...Asian Camp. They were counselors, in charge of teaching all those tech-savvy Asian kids about the arts.
Finn: So, what did Tina say when she broke up with you?
Tina: [In Artie's flashback] I think you're great, Artie, but you're a terrible boyfriend. You ignored me for weeks this summer!
Artie: I was playing a marathon round of Halo, woman!
Tina: And then when we did get together, all you wanted to do was watch Coming Home over and over. Mike tries to be into what I'm into. Like his abs.

Hiram: So I said, "Leroy, these guys sold us the wrong lube. That's why the rubber is squeaking, that's why it feels so weird when we're going fast."
LeRoy: Hiram, what are we talking about?
Burt: We're talking cars.