Hodgins: [finding a rare insect] Hello, my exotic princess!
Cam: What a charmingly inappropriate greeting, Dr. Hodgins.
Zack: I think he was talking to the bug.
Cam: Well, now I feel a bit... rejected.

Hodgins: [sees the "Gramps" tattoo on Michael's arm] He's tattooed? You tattooed MY CHILD?
Billy: Relax. It's a press on - for now.

Hodgins: [to Angela] Our victim... was kicked by a reindeer.
Angela: Oh. Get the hell outta here!
Zack: [points to a screen] The sacrum.
Angela: Wait. The evidence actually adds up to an old, fat man with a white beard, in a custom-made Santa suit who smoked a clay pipe and got kicked in the ass by a reindeer?

Hodgins: All I am saying is, why cut somebody into pieces?
Zack: Pack'em up tighter; maybe, say, in a suitcase.
Hodgins: How did a bear open a suitcase?
Zach: I saw a documentary once where a bear got into a car and drove away.
Hodgins: That was not a documentary. It was a cartoon.

Hodgins: All right!
Cam: I was told these were for you.
Hodgins: Yes, these are the tires from Lupe Rojas' car. She denies going to the park, but Booth doesn't believe her.
Cam: And if she's lying the tread should contain insect and plant matter that could place her there.
Hodgins: Exactly. You know, you could be my lovely assistant!
Cam: Yes, but since I'm your boss, you're my lovely assistant.

Hodgins: All right. So, breathe through your nose.
Angela: Do not tell me what to do.
Hodgins: All right.
Angela: But, but, but coach me like we practiced!
Hodgins: Those are mutually exclusive!
Angela: Don't argue with me!

Hodgins: Aluminum.
Brennan: Aluminum.?
Hodgins: Well, the Brits say "aluminium", but that sounds so, well... British.

Hodgins: And here's the kicker. There was also evidence of genetic material from a Franklinea altamaha on his shoe.
Booth: You're kidding! I'm in shock...Frankie Alabama? You don't say.
Brennan: Did you hear what I said about sarcasm?
Hodgins: It's a rare flowering plant that hasn't been seen in the wild since 1800. The only known specimen in this area, outside of a specialized botanical garden, was given to Senator Alan Corman as a gift. Oh, I love going after senators...
Booth: Whoa, just, you know, simmer down there, Hodgins, we're gonna check out the botanical garden first.
Hodgins: (shrugs) Fine. It's at the White House.
(Brennan and Hodgins laugh and high five)

Hodgins: Are you asking me to do an experiment?
Cam: With Arastoo.
Hodgins: Why are you saying his name like that?
Cam: Like what?
Hodgins: Arastooooo. You're chewing on his name.
Cam: Arastoo said that he looks at the devil every day.
Hodgins: Maybe he has low self-esteem.
Cam: Or -- you know what they call us, right?
Hodgins: They, being?
Cam: Muslims. Some Muslims. The ones over there trying to kill us.
Hodgins: Yeah, they call us the great Satan. Oh.
Arastoo: [walks in] Look here, what I found. Radiating microfractures in the cartilage of the victim's vestigial tail.
Cam: Radiating microfractures plus a ruptured intestine?
Hodgins: What does that mean?
Cam: He was slammed into something.
Arastoo: Perhaps, in fact, he did wrestle with an archangel and lose. As it should be. The devil lost, as he always must.
Cam: The devil lost?
Hodgins: As he always must?
Cam: What if Arastoo means us?
Hodgins: Arastoo is a very sweet, gentle guy, you know?
Cam: I know, but maybe in his heart he looks down on us! Do you want to work with someone who thinks you're the great Satan?
Hodgins: No! I don't want to be the great Satan. I don't even want to be a minor demon.

Hodgins: Be careful with fire ants, they're extremely dangerous.
Zach: I think the victim would agree with you.

Hodgins: Can this possibly work?
Brennan: I'm not really an explosives expert, but the dash might shape the charge enough to blow out the windshield. If we're less than four feet beneath the surface, this charge could blow us to freedom.
Hodgins: And if we're buried more than four feet deep?
Brennan: Then the concussion will turn our brains into jelly.
Hodgins: Well, then we can run for Congress, so it's a win-win.

Hodgins: Do you know what Vincent Nigel-Murray is? He's a genius.
Brennan: Yes, but so are we all. Except for Angela.
Angela: Oh, right, and yet who do you turn to when you need pretty pictures?

Hodgins: Does Brennan put "Mr." before your name?
Vincent: Yes.
Hodgins: That's her very subtle way of saying you're not a doctor.

Hodgins: Dr. Brennan, are you sure you don't want a chair? The way you're squatting, I'm worried that little guy in there is going to drop right out.
Brennan: Thank you, but my uterus and cervical plug are quite healthy. Also, I'm not having a boy. It's a girl.
Booth: [smiles] A girl. [becomes alarmed] Excuse me?
Brennan: The fetus inside my womb has female genitalia.
Hodgins: You guys are having a girl? That is so awesome!
Booth: Okay, wait. Just wait one second. Can I have a word with you here? You're guessing, right? What we're having?
Brennan: No, I had an ultrasound at the doctor's this morning. Are you displeased with the results?
Booth: No, I'm thrilled, but you can't just spring something like that on me in public. Why didn't you tell me that you had a doctor's appointment?
Brennan: Ultrasounds are poorly pixelated and black and white. You only like movies that are in color.
Booth: I would have loved this movie! It would have been my favorite movie of all time!
Brennan: I had no idea that our child's genitals were so important to you.
Booth: Bones, I am the father.

Hodgins: Field work. Cool! Do I get a gun?
Brennan: You can't arm Hodgins and not me.
Booth: What is it with you people and guns?