Alan: [Reading a self-help book] Okay, name three things you would change about me.
Charlie: Your personality, your wardrobe and your address.
...
Charlie: The way you chew your food, the hair in your ears and your address.
Alan: That stopped being funny a week ago.
Charlie: Judges?
Berta: Still funny.

  »   More Quotes from Two and a Half Men
  »   Back to the TV Quotes Database